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Comment by Danny on November 4, 2014 at 1:59am

Andre, Ron, Adam my support is with you.  'Sudden' is very tough in general and when its the most important person in our life, its a killer.  Its also for us guys that the Mom is the sounding board for everything and in fact is everything to us, even though we have made our way into our adult lives.  Feel free to write here or send a friend request and i can share how I survived so far but it still feels for me very fresh but i request you all to take it one day at a time for now and perhaps one week at a time.

Comment by Andre Clark on November 3, 2014 at 8:17pm

Sorry for your loss Adam and Ron B. I lost my mom in August. When she passed the paramedics labeled it a massive heart attack. Once we got an autopsy we found out she had a blood clot we didn't know about. She mentioned her legs was hurting and I told her to go to her doctor. The doctor said she was holding too much water weight in her legs and prescribed diuretics. I told my mom that never made since, but I'm no doctor. My mother fired that doctor and got a new doctor. The new doctor was going to run test to see what was causing my mom's leg pain. My mother pasted away the day of that appointment. I wished I would of researched more causes to leg pain. I wished I would of told her to go to the hospital instead of the doctor's office. I told my mom she needs to live a more active lifestyle and eat better which she listened and started doing. I honestly never even heard of blood clots until now. I know if I would have done more she would still be here. I just didn't understand her pain. Like you Ron B and many others my mom was my best friend too.

I also lost a cousin about 18 months ago. My mother talked with me about moving on after someone you love passes. Around this time she told me if anything was to happen to her she would want me to be strong and move on. It's a hard thing to do, but I know she wouldn't want me to shoot myself like I feel like doing most days. I guess I'm living for her now. I just wished I could of helped her.

Comment by Ron B on November 3, 2014 at 12:52pm

this year has totally sucked..Lost mom in July, then september and October was hospitalized with a blood clot and now on short term disability dealing with messed up legs from the clot..Mom was always my sounding board and best friend...my only friend as i've always been an introverted loner..some nights I sit at home and just feel like giving up on life..here we are going into the holiday season which I know wont be easy without mom anymore..I just get so depressed, sometimes I feel like driving my van into a brick wall at 90mph, or overdosing on my prescription meds because life is just not joyful for me..tired of the lonliness sitting at home recuperating with my only companion is my aging dog..After my medical bills and hospital bills are dealt with, I need to find some sort of therapy to deal with these issues

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on October 23, 2014 at 4:52pm

Yes, our parents will forever be on our minds and in our hearts!

Comment by Danny on October 23, 2014 at 4:15pm

The parents never really leave us do they ?

Comment by Casey on October 23, 2014 at 4:11pm

we will always have our mother in our heart, but do they still exist, do they still have us in our heart, does it matter? what if there is no heaven or after life? does it matter if we can lie to ourselves that it does? Does it matter as long as we have our mother in our heart?

Comment by Danny on October 22, 2014 at 1:16pm

We do have that bond still Melisa.  Its in another form.  Bond never goes.  Just missing the sharing of day to day stuff right now even more than ever.

Comment by Melisa C on October 17, 2014 at 2:23pm

I haven't posted in a while, my mom passed in January 2013. I can relate to a lot that I read here. Many times I feel bitter and jealous when I see people who still have their moms and still have that bond in their lives.

I wasn't promised that mom would live forever, but still it's incredibly unfair that she passed away just like that, had I realized she wasn't ok she'd be with me now. Didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

It's not something that I'll get over from, I wonder how the next years are going to be like.

Comment by Casey on October 16, 2014 at 7:04pm

Andre, I understand about the being jealous part completely. I truly do believe when our loved one died too young and too soon, we die as well. Its very hard to reorient one's life and find another reason to live , for me anyways. I found it very hard to accept that for the rest of my life i wont see my mother again. Its just not something i can really move past.

Comment by Danny on October 16, 2014 at 9:20am

'In this day in age there are people doing a lot worse things to their parents than being a little verbally abusive'.  Yes I would agree with that one. 

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