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Comment by Tonya Dean on October 16, 2015 at 9:26am

Thank you Chris Wool and John Barry.  I too am involved in GriefShare and it has been AMAZING.  I realize that everyone deals with their grief different, but it's sometimes too much to handle.  

Comment by Chris Wool on October 16, 2015 at 9:13am

And more to your point Tonya, I've been surprised with family at times... even before my mom's passing.  You think people would all step up to the plate (cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, etc.) before and after death.  Some people do what they can to help while others just try to make it harder for you.  Be strong.

Comment by Chris Wool on October 16, 2015 at 9:06am

I'm sorry to hear about this happening in your family, Tonya.  My mom passed away at the end of June from cancer and have a lot of changes to adapt to (housing, work may change, etc.).  She would have just turned 64 a week ago.  I was her caregiver toward the end and now care for my autistic brother since she is gone.  My stepfather is also living with me, too.  We have our moments and it can certainly be stressful.  I've known him for most of my life so there's an interesting dynamic there.

The sadness is also that we don't have our beloved mothers available at the ready to discuss the madness and dispense advice.  It's certainly tough.  My mom made predictions of what might happen before she passed.  She was very intuitive... almost psychic it seems.  Hopefully I can ward off some of her predictions! 

I wish you peace and some serenity, although I know it's been such a challenge.

John Barry, thank you for mentioning GriefShare--certainly worth looking into.  I hope that you're able to find peace with everything, too.  I know it's beyond difficult being the caregiver and survivor. 

I'm sorry for everyone's loss that I've read about so far in this thread.  May we all find some comfort, even if fleeting, thinking of the beautiful times we've had.  The great memories we made when we didn't even know we were making memories.  "The good ole days."  Certainly hope for good days to come, even if we can't see them now.  Certainly no day can be as good as when our loved ones were around, but I like to think that they're helping to guide us through everything.  Some days more than others, but always around nonetheless.

Comment by John Barry on October 14, 2015 at 2:07am

Tonya, I've had that happened within my own family. Some people can just be very cold when it comes to anyone else's grief. I know how you feel.

Comment by Tonya Dean on October 13, 2015 at 10:55am

Last week I had a very unfortunate argument with my stepmother, who I've only known for less than two years, about my grief.  In the last ten months, I've lost my mother, separated from my spouse, sold my house, moved, and started a new relationship.  My stepmother had the nerve to say that "everyone loses a loved one and people's marriages break up every day, but I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, and stop stirring my pity pot".  Some people can be truly heartless and not understand the grief process.  It's very heartbreaking.

Comment by Megan on October 8, 2015 at 1:47pm

Oh, I cannot imagine losing your mother at such a young age. My heart goes out to you. Xx

Comment by themmiracle2008 on September 30, 2015 at 12:19pm

I know the pain of losing a mom I lost my mom when I was 6 of cancer

Comment by Kate on September 26, 2015 at 1:42pm

Ron B., It sounds like you're in a pretty tough time in your life.  I can relate, not exactly, because everyone's grief is different, but I sympathize.  

It can feel like you're totally alone in the world.  I too have no other family than my father who has had mental disabilities all of his life and therefore hasn't been a "support" for me in the way that most people think of. It can be so tough with out a solid support structure.  Thankfully, I have a couple of friends that are like family and I'm grateful for them everyday.

For me, what has worked is simply never giving up. Every day I wake up and tell myself that life is worth living for. There.is.no.alternative. Period. I want that for you too and for Everyone on this forum and everyone out in the world who go through tremendous, traumatic grief. We Must soldier on because, well, life Is worth living for :)

I second Charity and John's suggestion that you seek out a support group, pastor or therapist. I hope you do because you seem like a very nice person and wish for you to get well soon! Sending strength and positive thoughts.

Comment by charity wolf on September 25, 2015 at 8:27am

My heart hurts for you Ron B. I agree that a support group would be good. Can you go talk with a therapist, pastor or? You are not alone even though it seems that way. Can you pray for guidance? When I feel hopeless, I pray. Please try to be gentle with yourself cause your heart is mending. I am sending a hug..you are not alone...

Comment by John Barry on September 25, 2015 at 12:52am

http://www.griefshare.org/  

Ron B, there is a group called Grief Share. They have them in almost every city and town. This is a group that meets for 12 weeks at a time. You need to be with people who have also lost a loved one.

http://www.griefshare.org/

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