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Comment by David B on September 1, 2016 at 2:02pm

I was my mother's caregiver for the last year of her life.She was told Dec of 2000 that she had ALS and it really was a blow to all that knew her. The disease that would take away her life took away her love of walking with her dear friends and the ability to sing with them as well. It was so hard to watch her hands and legs muscles shrink away from ALS. She was such a beautiful driven woman that never gave up and ALS changed all that. We were lucky that she had limb onset rather than bulbar-brain stem onset so she did not loose the ability to speak and did not loose her beautiful voice. She fought to remain as mobile as possible but it still took her leg muscles away. We thought she had longer to stay with us only to loose her suddenly at almost 2 yrs to the day of her diagnosis. She had a sudden pulmonary embolism and was gone within an hour. I was the last person to see her after her I heard her scream for me and I went to her only to see her sit on her bed and her eyes roll back and stop breathing. It still haunts me and makes me cry. I do realize she was lucky to not have to endure the end stages of ALS. It is the most disturbing thing I have ever experienced loosing her.I love you very much mom and I miss you so...

Comment by Gregory on September 1, 2016 at 9:31am

All of your comments are touching.  It does help to know you don't suffer alone.  I was my Mom's caregiver for over a year and her death was unexpected.  She contracted urinary track infections occasionally but a week in the hospital usually cleared up everything.  Unfortunately the last time she was in the hospital she contracted phenomena and was gone in two days.  I'm also the executor of her estate and going through my Mom's things and reading notes she made is ripping me apart.  I think I'm almost done and will be able to close the estate this fall.  I found it interesting:  Just a few legal documents and some notarized signatures and my Mom no longer exists in the eyes of the law.

Comment by Theresa on August 31, 2016 at 5:57pm

I will Monica, thank you.

God Bless everyone.

 

Comment by Monica on August 31, 2016 at 9:06am

Thank you John. Thank you Nancy. So much of your messages ring true for me, and truly "those" dreams you have ARE certainly a gift from God. In fact i believe they are purposeful visits from your dear Mother. Ive read about them and my daughter has had some. Bless your heart. And Theresa, you hang in there. Remember, if NOBODY else,,,WE do want to listen. Hugs & prayers to all

Comment by Theresa on August 30, 2016 at 10:11am

Thank you John, I hope so.

Comment by John Barry on August 30, 2016 at 12:05am

I lost my  mother 3 years ago this August. I was her caregiver for 7 years. Her passing was sudden. I know the first year can be the hardest. You can make it. I still feel the grief of the loss, that will never go away, but you learn to handle it over time.

During the holidays, if you go to an event, don't go alone. Have someone close to you be your partner. If you feel you have to leave, plan a signal to your partner you're ready to go. It makes it easier to excuse yourself when you have someone backing you up.

Comment by Leila on August 29, 2016 at 11:31pm

My prayers are with you, Monica. We are all here for such a sad reason. I'm thankful we have one another, a bit of consolation in these difficult times. It's so painful to yearn for someone so much and be powerless to change it. You're not selfish for wanting to feel close to your mom. I'm sorry you had to go through the trauma of packing her things. My mom's house is still a shrine to her after more than a year. I just can't bring myself to do it. In 16 months I've only dreamed of my mom 4 times. Each night after I say my prayers I ask God to give my mom a huge hug from me, kiss the top of her head and each cheek, repeat those steps one more time, then tell her how much I love and miss her every minute, how she was perfect everyday, and to please not forget me. Every once in a great while my mom comes to me in a dream and hugs me. It's not like a regular dream. I'm completely aware and in control of what I'm doing and saying. I think those moments are gifts from God. I hope your mom comes to visit you in a dream soon. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hugs,
Nancy

Comment by Monica on August 29, 2016 at 11:01pm

Hi everyone. As always, sending my condolences to all have joined us here. I havent been here in awhile...i do try many times,get halfway thru, crying, weak. So, 9months & 26 days forr me since Moms death suprised us. Its always a struggle. Always!!! For me, these last few days have been both physically and emotionally draining. I have not been to my Mothers house in 2 months,,,we needed to get things packed..oh how i sooo miss her!!! Still crying to sleep and yes,,ME TOO!!! STILL AWAITING THAT DREAM,,,that visit from her. Ive learned NOT to look for it, but jeez that yearning sure is strong. I shake my head,,,wow,, really? Almost 10months? Gosh how just yesterday we were hugging tightly,,talking endlessly...on her birthday..AND NOW!!!! - oh how i miss you Mom. I only know she is near me because i have actually made it THIS long..and everything ive ever done at anytime in my 45yrs, shes been there. If only i could get the mercy from above to hear my plea,,my selfish pleato feel, dream, see her once. I know,,how selfish of me...(cry, cry, cry more). Bless each of you. Had to vent

Comment by Leila on August 29, 2016 at 10:50pm

Gregory and Theresa,
It's been 16 months since cancer stole my sweet mom and she flew away to be with Jesus. For me the emptiness, grief, and longing for my mother has not subsided. I still think of her throughout each day and wish she was alive and well. The world just doesn't seem right without her in it. My grief, however, has changed in some ways. I function better most of the time. I'm better at hiding the sadness. I no longer randomly burst into tears in public, but I still feel tearful at least once a day. Nobody except my husband and dearest friend would know I'm
still deeply grieving. There are more happy moments, but they're mixed with moments of sadness. The sadness is usually triggered by something I associate with my mother; activities we used to do together, the smell of fresh baked apple pie, certain songs and movies, holidays, special occasions, even the change of seasons
for some reason seems to be making it more intense. I still go to counseling. I feel that for myself, the feelings I have will never change. I suppose that's just how it is when you love someone with your whole heart and soul.
May you both find comfort with those closest to you.

Comment by Theresa on August 29, 2016 at 6:03pm

David and Gregory

I have not had any dreams, I do know she is ok.....

I am heading towards my ninth month, I still cry ......it was so sudden, I just keep thinking why?

I have no family to talk to just one cousin, but does she really want to hear it?

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