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Comment by Theresa on November 16, 2016 at 4:48am

I am coming up on one year 12/19 it seems I am having a hard time.  I miss my mom so much, she was all I had.

I miss you mom with all my heart!

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on November 9, 2016 at 12:49pm

hello everyone, I'm having a hard time about my mom, I lost her about 6 years ago to cancer, she was very ill so I have to remember that she is fine now, and she is feeling no pain and happy in heaven....i'm a strong christian i just miss them....I'm doing ok though, it just helps to get the feelings out

Comment by sherry crow on November 8, 2016 at 9:46pm

I lost my mom to cancer in a months time. My mom and I didn't always get along but I always tried to please her. As I got older, I decided to accept her as she was and to love her unconditionally. I took care of her in her last days. What hurts so much is, I was at peace with the relationship I had with my mom. Before she became sick, we both made amends and i  had such a peace about it and for the fact she didn't suffer long. However, one of my older brothers said my mom complained i had upset her everyday she was in rehab. Then another accusation was made that I had spoke harshly to mom while turning her. I'm just at a loss. I don't know how to cope with this. any of you have this happen to you?

Comment by Theresa on November 5, 2016 at 6:02am

Yes Nov and Dec are hard for me also dad died on 12/14, mom died 12/19 and grandmother 12/24

I feel as though God had a reason to take her home at that time.

Some days and night are worse than others, I just can't wait until I dream of her, I think I am asking too many questions instead of just believing it was moms time to go home.

It is really great to have others to talk to here I am glad I found this site.

Comment by David B on November 4, 2016 at 6:42pm

Nov and Dec are still incredibly hard for me and it has been this way since 2002 when I suddenly lost my dear mother Ellen to sudden pulmonary embolism brought on by ALS. My birthday is the week of Thanksgiving and she past just two weeks after. My 40th birthday was the last happy birthday I ever had. Since then life has not been the same and I cry to this day for her loss. I guess I need to seek a professional grief counselor, I don't know if that will even help? I don't want to spend money I need for other things on my very limited income. My heart goes out to all that are here struggling with the loss of that special person that can't be replaced....out beloved mother.

Comment by Lindsay on November 4, 2016 at 6:40pm

Theresa, I can't imagine not having family support, however this is lonely no matter how big your pack is. Please know you're not alone because no matter how many people you have around you, no one will ever be your mom. I feel lonely almost all of the time and I have a good support system. It's the hardest thing. I miss her every second of the day.

Comment by Theresa on November 4, 2016 at 6:23pm

I just got home from work and cried all the way home.

I just feel like I am at a loss for words.

I have no children, no other family members, so all I do is think about that day over and over in my mind.

Comment by Lindsay on November 4, 2016 at 10:11am

Jill, that's exactly right. I am by no means alone and I have wonderful supportive friends, but there is just nothing like your Mother. I fear my first illness without her. I know I sound ridiculous at 39 years old, but I bet you get it. I cringe at the thought of her not being there when I don't feel well. No mother ever wants her child (no matter the age) to feel sick. They bring such comfort. Her asking me how am I until I am better. What she can do to help me. Rubbing my back. Telling me she loves me. All of it. I miss talking to her every day, her support. She was my number one cheerleader! I miss the laughs terribly. Boy did we laugh together. The hole is huge Jill, huge. I so understand where you are coming from. The holidays are so tough. I've decided to fly out west to spend it with my brother. I can't even think of being home without my Mom. 

Comment by jill smith on November 4, 2016 at 10:01am

Lindsay (and everyone else who commented) I could have written what you wrote! Kids, husband and pets but I still feel very lonely. The holidays are hard and I feel the apprehension and stress as we enter them. Yet I have to make it nice for my kids while I would rather do nothing. 

I think part of my loneliness is not having my mother here to talk to, that connection. That one person always loving you, having your back etc. Nobody can replace that and it is one of the most special connections we had in our life. It has been 2 years since my mom passed and this is something I still struggle with. 

So I think I yearn for that close connection we had. But even close friends and family cannot fill that hole. That is why it is so hard. I know my mom wants me to be happy and live a fulfilling life but it is sure hard without her here. 

I wish I had a great solution but I don't. 

Comment by samantha on November 4, 2016 at 8:44am

I can not eat hardly anything. I lost four lbs in just one wk. I feel as though i am still in shock. One minute i come close to accepting she is gone but then i go right back to being in disbelief. The last memory i have of my mom haunts me. The pain she was in and the total confusion and disorientation. I never got to say goodbye. I have this empty feeling as though NOTHING comforts me. I went to crying every sec to not even neing able to cry. Just a numb feeling. I haven't even had a single dream of her. I do not feel her around me. Does anyone else have these feelings?? Makes me feel so mad at myself

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