Comment

Comment by Leila on April 10, 2017 at 4:34am

I'm so sorry, Bluebell. You're not alone. I'm here thinking of you and praying for you at this very moment. I send my love and wishes for a more peaceful day. If you'd like to chat just let me know.
Hugs,
Nancy

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 10, 2017 at 1:28am

Bad night. I feel so all alone

Bluebell

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 9, 2017 at 2:14am

Theresa,

I have times when I feel like I can not bear not having my Mom in my life. But when that happens, I try to remind myself that she would not want me to be unhappy. It seems to help a little.

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on April 8, 2017 at 7:43pm

Bluebell, just wanted to know how you are coming along, weekends are tough for me.

Also everyone else....

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 7, 2017 at 9:09am

Theresa,

And you just made mine.

Hugs,

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on April 7, 2017 at 5:34am

My gosh Bluebell, you made my day

God Bless :)

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 6, 2017 at 8:33pm

Theresa.

From what you have said about your Mom, I know she would not be disappointed that you were not there when she died. You, nor she, knew the urgency of her condition. 

If I could speak for your Mother, I would say, " There is nothing to forgive. It was not your fault". 

Hugs,

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on April 6, 2017 at 6:22pm

Tanya, I feel the same

I miss her every single day

I am just going through the days......its hard

It has been one year and almost 4 months for me, my mom died unexpectedly, cardiac arrest, I did not get there to the hospital in time, I walked in five minutes after.....I will live with that forever

Comment by Tanya on April 6, 2017 at 8:43am

Yesterday was the day my mom passed away a year ago.  I can't say anniversary because that makes it seem like a joyous occasion.  Leading up to this day for a few weeks, I had not been myself.  Can't sleep, quiet and a really deep sadness, I wake up in the middle of the night reliving what her death was like and scared about my own. Crying at work.  I guess it doesnt help when I look at her pictures but I feel if i don't that I am not being a good daughter by  not thinking of her.  In other words, this is my torture for loving and having a good mother.  Some people do not have that and therefor suffer the effects while the person is a alive.  I find my mind wandering to things like why not this person, why did she die like that.  At times when it gets too much I start to have panic attacks.  My dr. prescribed meds for this as I would lose my breath.  I miss her like no one I have ever missed before, even my dad.  Sometimes it feels like it was just last week and other times it feels like forever.  Now I know how she felt/struggled with when my grandmother died.

I don't think we get over this but does that longing feeling of wanting to talk to your mom or missing her presence ever go away?

Comment by Theresa on April 1, 2017 at 4:51pm

Bluebell I feel your pain, I too feel the same way even though it has been just over a year.

I also wonder how am I going to go on without her, I just keep going sometimes I don't know how, but I try.

I have found that besides anxiety that is just horrible, I flip out on people, I have become an angry person, I have to stop it, my mom was so compassionate and kind and loving.

I don't ever see me getting to that point.

Everytime my anxiety creeps up I try to say what will be will be, I actually tremble sometimes and I wish it would just stop.

Went to dr several times and he tried to put me on an SSRI, I'm trying to do without it, I am struggling though.

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