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Comment by Theresa on July 5, 2017 at 5:37am

Heather
The first year was a blur for me, but you got through it.
Its been a year and a half and I feel just as lost also, I just feel like she is so far away

Comment by Heather on July 4, 2017 at 7:28pm

So, Today is the 1 year anniversary of my mom's passing:-(...now what?...
If it's possible, I still feel just as lost, as I did on the day she died:-(....

Comment by Theresa on July 3, 2017 at 6:05pm

Chelsea

I am sorry for your loss, you are not alone

I too have severe anxiety, my body feels so unwell, my dr says its anxiety.

I struggle everyday...

Comment by Heather on July 3, 2017 at 3:19pm

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom so young. That is so hard to watch your Mom go through that! My prayers are with you. Please know you have found a good community here full of caring and understanding people. Take good care of yourself.

Comment by Joy on July 3, 2017 at 3:19pm

Hi Chelsea, I just read your note and my heart breaks for you and your family over the loss of your dear mom. And you're so young too. I'm 48 and the pain of losing my mom is so very hard. Having recently lost my mom, I know the pain you're feeling and I wish there was something I could do to ease your, mine and everyone else's pain whose grieving. 

I'm so glad to hear about your faith because that's the only thing that can help carry us through these difficult times. I will keep you in my prayers. I come to this site often so if you ever feel the need to chat while I'm logged on, I'm available.

The pain is overwhelming and as a fellow motherless daughter, I can only say that I understand.

Take care of your self and know that I and others on this site are thinking about you.

Comment by Chelsea Taylor on July 3, 2017 at 3:09pm

Hello, my name is Chelsea. I've new to this site but I don't know who else to talk to. I am 17 years old and I just recently lost my Mother five months ago. She was only 63 years old. I found her in bed unable to speak or move. She was having another stroke, so an ambulance rushed her to the hospital. She had two strokes prior, one in 2010 and another one in 2014 that left her with dementia. I really thought she was going to be okay and be able to come back home with us, but little did I know that was the last time I would see her at home. She had an additional stroke three days later while in the hospital. She was unable to speak, move half of her body or swallow, so they had to put a feeding tube thorough her nose. After about a week, her condition wasn't getting any better, so we had to make the decision to take the feeding tube out because it was bothering her too much and to let her go peacefully. About a week later, she passed away on Thursday, January 12^th at 6:40 am, which is her and my dad's anniversary. I had a bad panic attack and cried harder than I ever have before in my life after I was woken up and told my mother had died. The pain and heartbreak of losing her is almost unbearable. She was my best friend in the whole world. I have been religious my whole life so I know she is pain free and resting in heaven with the Lord now and I will get to be with her again for eternity but I still miss her terribly. I feel so lost and lonely without her here in this life. I feel so angry at the world and at life for taking her away from me so early. I have so much anxiety and depression now and every day is a major struggle that I can barely get through. Everything just feels so unreal. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. I just miss her so much it hurts so bad.

Comment by Theresa on July 3, 2017 at 5:41am

My friends don't even ask how I am doing......

We do feel like we are all alone on this path, but we are not God is right beside us always, I truly believe that.

I surely hope time will heal, months, years, my mom still cried talking about her mom after 45 years.

This is our new life I guess.

Comment by Heather on July 2, 2017 at 8:01pm

Feel the same way, Bluebell...it's like, there is nothing that they can say or do that will take your pain away, because your loss doesn't directly affect them. I'm realizing that this whole grieving for our dear moms is so deep and complicated (not to mention unpredictable), that it is a road we have to go down on our own. Man is it scary and so lonely...
I'm two days away from the 1 year anniversary of my mom's passing. Still can't believe it has already been a year. I haven't seen her beautiful face for a whole year:-(. My entire life I had never gone that long without seeing her....
Take care, Bluebell...
Prayers are with all of you suffering this deep loss

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 2, 2017 at 7:36pm

I really have felt very alone the past week. I have tried reaching out to friends and family, but it has not helped much.

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on July 1, 2017 at 6:45am

I feel so lost also, maybe its because I can't come to terms with my moms death, sudden and unexpectedly?  I know that I felt totally different when my dad passed 18 years ago, he was sick and I did not want him to suffer.

I just keep praying please God give me strength to live the rest of my life with all these questions in my mind or show me the answer.

I doubt what the dr said was the cause of her going into cardiac arrest,high blood pressure?

I somewhat regret not having an autopsy, I regret stopping at her house before I get to the hospital, if I didn't I would have been there to see her alive before she went in SCA. That extra five minutes would have made a difference. 

Then the other half of me says, it was God's will, and I need to be at peace with it.  I think if I can do that I will be able to move on  hopefully.

Not sure.

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