Comment

Comment by BLUEBELL on August 20, 2017 at 7:46pm

I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry or wish I could cry. This is the way I grieve. It will lessen as time goes on and I will be grateful when that happens.

I envy you Janie and I wish I was more like you.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 20, 2017 at 5:47pm

Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way.

But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be honest with myself. I am a mess.

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 20, 2017 at 4:17pm

The love never stops !!

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 20, 2017 at 4:16pm

And ironically as I write this I have goosebumps and feel her love and approval!

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 20, 2017 at 4:15pm

I have a huge angel urn sitting on my mantle with my mama there. It is not that I do not miss her and love her I feel sad alot but I have to keep going for her. All Mamas would not like us to spend our whole time depressed and grieving . Would you want your Mama to constantly be grieving and depressed at your passing. My Mama and I lost her older daughter and my sister ten yrs ago then my Dad. We have shared our depressed moods and anxiety's. My Mama said please celebrate my life with kindness and be happy as you can life is to short. The road is hard but we must endevor to go on as our Mamas would like us to! I love you Mama!

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 20, 2017 at 4:14pm

I know that sadness well, Theresa. We will always be our mother's child. She will always be our mom. 

It's been too long since we got to hug our moms. Way too long. And neither you nor I know when that will change. That's the kicker in all of this. The finality of it all is overwhelming. I know that I may see my mom again but it will not be in this life. That is a hard pill to swallow. So far I have not been able to swallow it. It's been over a year and a half and I still can't swallow it. If anything it seems like that pill just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

I wish every single one of you peace. I hope the day comes for all of us that we no longer need to post here. That day may come sooner for some and later for others. The speed in which we heal is not a measure of who loved their mother's more. We all love our moms. 

I guess circumstances have something to do with it. I'm just not ready to face life without my mom. I don't know if I can. I know that I have to though. I don't have any say in the matter.

For me life (now) is like sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office. It seems like I have been waiting for a long time, and I know that there is probably a lot more waiting ahead.

Until then I will just keep telling my mom that I love her, and I will always hope that she can hear me.

Comment by Theresa on August 20, 2017 at 3:05pm

Bluebell I feel sad everyday still. Somedays are tolerable but there is a deep sadness in my heart it's hard to explain. I miss her so much. Sometimes when I go over things in my head I feel so many different things. Like gosh it's been so long since Ive seen my mom or I will say I will not see my mom again until it is my time to leave this world

Comment by BLUEBELL on August 20, 2017 at 10:40am

I look forward to being able to feel something other than sadness about my Mom's death. But I am not there yet. I do love you Mom and miss you every day.

Bluebell

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 19, 2017 at 9:39am

Good morning everyone and good morning Mama!  I have alot to get accomplished today so that I can bring things home from Mamas home. As always I love you Mama!

Comment by Theresa on August 19, 2017 at 5:56am

Janie that sounds good, "I love  you mom"!!!!

 

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