Comment

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 5, 2018 at 9:00pm

I have been reading two very good grief books that are helping me understand what i am feeling. It makes me feel normal. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 5, 2018 at 8:28pm

Jessica, I'm not exactly an expert because I have not healed as well as I would have liked, but I do know that it's best to be honest about your feelings. 

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 5, 2018 at 8:00pm

Brett- thats true .

I was proud of myself today .I am being honest about the way i truly feel i inside when people ask me. This is making it easier to go to work .

Comment by Theresa on March 5, 2018 at 5:36am

Brett, you said it all just the way I would have

And I know your mom and my mom are right there with the Blessed Mother watching over us always.

My faith is the only thing I have right now

Blubell, I feel the same way.....

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 4, 2018 at 10:38pm

Jessica, I think you are describing something that many children of divorce (including myself) feel. My dad died first. It wasn't even a blip on the radar screen for my mom. People fall out of love. My mom and dad sure did. In fairness to my mom, my dad was horrible. People get divorced, but we rarely become divorced (emotionally) from our moms. That bond is for keeps. Sometimes I will talk with someone who is not close to their mom, and I will wonder how on earth that is even possible. I just know what I know. My mom was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 4, 2018 at 10:30pm

Bluebell, you and me both. I feel you, buddy.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 4, 2018 at 10:28pm

Theresa, it has been two years. It could have been two hours. I found photo albums that I had long forgotten about. There were lots of pictures that I may have never even seen. My mom went on a lot of business trips and she would take lots of pictures of the towns and of co-workers. They are hard to look at. There was my mom when she was still healthy. She probably tried to show me those pictures after they were developed, and I probably browsed though them without paying much attention. Why would I? I had the real thing (my mom) right in front of me. That house means so much to me. I was there for most of the 30 years that my mom was there. All of those nights mom and I would go to bed at night. All was right with the world. You know that it can't stay that way forever, but sometimes the future seems so far away. And now it's been two years since I lost my mom. Maybe leaving that house was like picking at a scab that has not yet healed, but who's kidding who? I will never get past this. Maybe I will learn to live with it, but as Theresa said, the finality of it all is overwhelming.

I want my mom back. That's not going to happen. I want to wake up to find that this has all been a bad dream, but that's not going to happen either. I pray a lot. I pray that I can find God's peace. I pray in a way that I have never prayed before. I pray that The Blessed Mother is aware of me, and that as a mom herself, that she is looking out for me.

I can hope anyway. I don't know how God works. I believe that my mom is in heaven. I believe that I will get there on day, but I sure could use a little help along the way, from above. How do you lose someone that you love so much, and still feel complete? What's more, how do you lose someone who loved you so much, and still feel complete. There is a 5'4", 120 pound void in my life. But I know this much... I was sure blessed to have had her.

Comment by BLUEBELL on March 4, 2018 at 7:40pm

I have bee pretty depressed and have not felt like doing anything the past 2 weeks. 

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on March 4, 2018 at 5:53pm

Brett, I know I felt the same about her house, now I look at the pictures and cry, I have been crying alot lately, its the finality of it.

She was such a huge part of my life, I miss her so much, I have to say I cry alot even though it has been two years, my heart still aches.

Reading your post felt the same as if I was writing it...

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 4, 2018 at 1:23pm

Brett- I was wondering how my dad felt about my moms death since they have been divorced for 14 + years . I wont lie in the beginning i was mad at my dad because he did not see sad at all. I know that they have not been together for a long time but they were married for 18 years at one time . 

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