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Comment by M Adams on February 6, 2020 at 10:46pm

Brenda, so sorry for what you’re going through. I really relate...my mother died in the autumn of 2018 and like you I was honoured to have the chance to help her in what turned out to be her last five years, when she had many health challenges.  She was always so brave, and so very kind and supportive to me.  After my husband died it was her love that sustained me and made it worthwhile for me to live.  The closeness of our relationship and especially the intimacy of those last years have made it very sad and disorienting to be without her, maybe that is true for you as well? but at the same time I hope you’ll find some comfort in the fact that you and your mother had such a deeply loving relationship, and that you were there for her when she needed you.  

Comment by Brenda on February 6, 2020 at 9:18pm

Hi, my name is Brenda. I lost my mom to brain cancer 36 days ago, the pain and grief are uncontrollable.  I took care of her for 10 months everyday, and feel so lucky and honored to have been able to do it! She has always been my everything, I don't know how I get up in the mornings and function, I walk around the world and exist in a fog.  I would do anything for my mom and only hope that she was, has been, and is proud of me.  I am so proud and honored to be her daughter!  I love you mom and am looking for some understanding, compassion, support,  and hope from others.

Bless you all and praying for strength and comfort today.

Comment by Avi on January 29, 2020 at 5:50am

Hi Katherine, 

Everybody on this group will understand your pain and there are no concrete steps that you can take to relax your grief. Take small steps and you will be able to find a way forward. Your mother will always want you to be happy and live a healthy life. 
Please feel free to post your feelings. 

Comment by Katherine A Pericas Geersten on January 23, 2020 at 8:25pm

Hi everyone, My name is Katherine. 

I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has been very hard.

I'm hoping to find advice or at least someone who understands my situation.

Thanks

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 8, 2019 at 1:39am

Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly don't want her to be sad. What is powerful for me is knowing that my mom would want me to pull myself out of this and live my life. That gives me inspiration to try. Maybe it will get better one day. I'll keep taking baby steps.

Comment by Avi on October 8, 2019 at 1:22am

How are you all doing? 

I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother. 

Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your emotions. So if you cry a lot, they will also be disheartened but they cannot do anything. It is like you have gone to another country, your mother calls you and says that she is unwell but you cannot come immediately. You will be disturbed so consider the soul who cannot do anything seeing their loved ones cry. 

This made me rethink my emotions. 

Have a nice day all. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 21, 2019 at 12:21am

Hi, Avi. I hope that we are all doing great as well. That's a lot to hope for. When I first lost my mom, the idea of doing great seemed impossible, and it still seems like it is an incredibly hard task. I think of what we are experiencing now is our "new normal." I can't speak for everyone here, but no matter what good happens in our lives, we will always feel a tremendous void. That is the natural course of life though. No one ever hid the reality that as we got older, folks that we loved would die. We always knew, but maybe we thought that would always be tomorrow, not today. Our today came.

I had a very bad dream about my mom. She was on the other side of my bedroom door. She was calling for help. I couldn't get up. In my case, it's my own anxiety that causes these dreams. You can't hide from what is truly inside of you. Even in sleep. Grief forces you to deal with it. It will not be ignored.

It is so great that you feel that your mom is near. Use that. Talk to her. Tell her that you love her and miss her. And take comfort in the knowledge that she hears you.

Comment by Avi on September 20, 2019 at 9:50pm

Hi All

Hope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. 

Comment by SelV on September 9, 2019 at 1:26am

Towards the end of August, I dreamt about my parents. I had many pleasant dreams about my mother since April. Never dreamt of my father so that was the first. My parents were getting married...either celebrating their 60th or 75th wedding anniversary. It was a very happy occasion. My parents were all decked up and smiling away on the dais. I could clearly see my mother grinning and showing off her pearly whites and all. If my parents were alive till today, they would have celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary in July. I hope my mother or both my parents come in my dreams regularly...well at least I see them alive there...my daylights are a living nightmare!

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 8, 2019 at 8:39pm

Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay your life and ask yourself where your joy lies. Let that little baby keep you going. No one can fill the void of the love you lost better than her.

SelV, I understand and appreciate all of that.

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