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Comment by Theresa on August 6, 2019 at 2:53pm

 I am just sitting here reading what everyone has written and it’s just peaceful to know that we all feel the same 

 I only could wish that I could have a dream of my mom I have no dreams 

Avi hope your daughters birthday makes wonderful  memories

yes Brett a light at the end of the tunnel would be great 

Some days I’m just so tired 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 6, 2019 at 2:10pm

Everyone needs a light at the end of the tunnel.

Comment by Avi on August 6, 2019 at 1:42pm

M adams, mam small party for the relatives. her bday is on 10th Aug. My mother dies on 15 May 18 and she was born on 10 Aug 18. She is a motivating factor for my father to live and light at the end of tunnel for me. 

Comment by M Adams on August 6, 2019 at 1:15pm

Avi, so glad you had a good dream of speaking with your mother, that is always something to cherish.  What are the birthday plans for your little girl?  

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 6, 2019 at 1:10pm

Avi, what you just wrote to Theresa is so true. People will allow you a short time for grief. If it goes on pass that time they will think you are over dramatic, or that you have mental problems. 

I wish your little girl a wonderful birthday. What a blessing she is for you.

Comment by Avi on August 6, 2019 at 7:25am

Hi Brett, 

I feel what you experienced. I have a family as well but still I feel void sometimes. 

I was very happy yesterday as I saw my mother in dreams. She was talking to me on some topic and I was really happy to have conversation with her in dreams but till night I was again feeling the void and hope my mother would have been alive. 

My angel is turning 1 on Saturday and she is my ray of hope to drive me through this dark tunnel. 

Theresa, other people will never understand your grief as they feel that you are overreacting. 

Any one who wanna talk please feel free to add me on skype at live:avitiwari26

Thanks

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 5, 2019 at 10:56pm

That's the hard part. When I started my new job in February I had to list an emergency contact. I don't really have one now.

Friday night we had a lot of flooding on our area. I didn't realize how bad it was until I tried to drive home from work. Every route that I tried was blocked by the police. I had to wait in the parking lot of a grocery store until one of the roads opened. It just occurred to me that there was no one for me to call to say that I would be home late, and no one really cared if I had to spend the night in a parking lot. Well, my dog cares. She would have been howling until I got home. It's just not the same thing. No one to coordinate with. I have friends but not family.

Comment by M Adams on August 5, 2019 at 8:11pm

Sue, what you say about your mom is so touching and true, it brings tears to my eyes.

”She always told me to be careful when I went to work that she needed me.  I always knew she was there for me & cared. ”

My mother and my husband were both like that for me, caring and worrying about my safety and happiness. Of course I took care of them as well, but it wasn’t an exchange, it was love.  Not having the people who truly care, going on alone after they die, makes life so bleak... tough to keep motivated to take care of oneself, all the endless tasks, big and small, and all the fear, without the loving concern of someone in the world who puts you first, sees you as special and uniquely important, not just as a useful bundle of functions.  I know I was lucky to have experienced that kind of  love — it’s a very different, much colder world now. Important to go on and to have gratitude, I think, but it’s also very hard.

Comment by Theresa on August 3, 2019 at 1:50pm

So true Brett and Sue, people have no idea what we have went through until it happens to them.

Brett, I have become bitter, I have so much anger inside, and no tolerance for people at all.

Sometimes I think about quitting my job and looking for another one, that I can be away from people.  Its ashame.....

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 3, 2019 at 10:47am

Forgiving is one thing. I would like to forgive everyone. I think I can in time, but that doesn't mean that those people need a place in my life. Sometimes you are better staying away from certain people, even if those people are family members.

And for friends who were not there when we needed them most, I just realize that is who they are. I think that we assume that we are very close to some people, but then when the chips are down, the reality of our distance becomes apparent. We never were as close as we thought.

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