They say what doesnt kill ya makes ya stronger. They say that every dog has its day. They say that time heals all wounds.I've been told that in order to move on you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.They say they say they say. I have heard so many of these anticdotes and cliches over the years that i could write a book  the jproblem is that when you are in greif the only thing these sayings manage to do is make a person angry. As if losing someone you love doesnt piss you off enough. I have found that I get the most advice form those who havent walked in my shoes. I have to laugh at them because even though I would never wish this on anyone  unless you have traveled the road I have been on you will never understand what it's like. I'm thinking that God does this on purpose because if we knew the truth we would not want to be here. Today as I sat here holding my brandnew granddaughter I felt my heart swell with joy The kind of joy that makes me glad to be alive. I couldnt help but think of my sons. How proud they would be and how happy they would be to be uncles.I am stronger, time has healed some of my wounds, I have worked very hard to pick myself up by my bootstraps and I pray that this dog will get her day. None of this minimizes what I have been through and nothing will ever take the place in my heart where my sons are. I choose to go on. I choose to do my best to make whatever time I have left on this earth filled with love and joy.It has taken me a very long time to get where I am and I have worked very hard to accept the things that I cant change. i guess what I'm talking about is Hope. The deepest part of my soul is Hope. Hope that one day I will walk with my sons and my Lord and Savior. Hope that everything that has brought me to my knees Will give me strength and endurance, and the Hope that each day I'm alive I can give something back and help someone else who has no choice but to walk in my shoes. Today I am strong, today I walk the path that leads me to survival, and today I am so very grateful for every single moment that brings me closer to those I love. To all whose lives have been ravaged by greif I wish for you  peace. Peace for your heart and hope for your future.