Well, here I go again, my fourth year without my husband to celebrate the holdiays together, I just hate them and wish I could just sleep through them, being with family or friends is of no help, it makes it worse to see them so happy. Any suggestions?

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One of my neighbors came over and asked me if I needed help putting the christmas lights up on the house. I looked at them like they had lost their mind. 

There are no christmas lights going up on the house this year...  and I will be hard pressed at a christmas tree.  There is absolutely nothing to celebrate. 

I am trying so hard to do this for the kids, but to be honest, I truly dont have the energy to fake being "merry", I.just.dont.

The only thing I can muster is buying the same bottle of wine that my husband and I shared the night before he left our home for the last time, curling up in a ball and drinking it.  Alone.

I'm not putting up any decorations either; I just don't see the point. My family say they don't want his passing to ruin Christmas, which I understand, but I really don't want to do it. If I have to endure this, the only way will be to drink my husbands favourite rum until I can reach oblivion

I used to really decorate our house for Christmas, but this year I am not putting up much. I just can't do it anymore without my wonderful Husband, we would decorate together every year, but the longer time goes by I will end up not putting up anything. 

this will be the second year without my wife on Christmas I have a tree that she decorated before she passed away I never took the ornaments off and just carry the tree out from the closet completely decorated exactly like she wanted it it makes me miss her a lot and I leave it lit up with blue lights because this will be another blue Christmas

Hello Jeff,

Thanks is awesome that you have something for Christmas to honor your wife, my tree is not going up this Christmas, it's been four Christmases without my Husband and it gets worse every year and my shrink says it will get better. Bah, Humbug.

Linda

Jeffery,

That's lovely that you have that, and do that.

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