I offer yet another impression of ‘normal’ grief and complicated grief. I approach all grief reactions as a complication in the life of the individual who seeks help with this human phenomenon. We travel life’s roadway and suddenly, around the bend, the bridge is out. A death, a life-threatening diagnosis, accident, layoff notice, or other traumatic change has painfully altered the course of our journey and requires a new way of looking at life. The process of grieving represents a disruption, a need for altering our direction, our plans, and how we identify ourselves in the post-loss / changed world. Normal grief presents many complications and deserves the help of a care provider who is an exquisite witness. People who are grieving deserve care at whatever level their situation requires whether we call it complicated or not. At all times, individual differences must be taken into consideration when determining how we as care providers will serve them.
– J. Shep Jeffreys, Ed.D., C.T., in Helping Grieving People: When Tears Are Not Enough, Brunner-Routledge, © 2005, p. 293.

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Comment by anne on February 3, 2014 at 7:31pm

Thank you! This is all so true. Being the mother of not one but 2 children who are dead I know how it feels to be treated right by caregivers, and how devastating it is to be treated all wrong by care givers. I'm glad you posted this because until I finally started getting the right treatment for grief, I believed I killed my own child. It took 7 years to finally be able to grieve in the way in which it good for me, and my family. To be honest, had I not had all of the wrong intervention when my son was killed, I wouldn't of had to go through half of what I went through. Care givers need to know that when your dealing with a grieving mother every circumstance is important. If I were to tell you what I was put through when my little boy burned in a car accident you probably would not believe me. Good thing I have proof! Peace to you!

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