seeking the comfort of other parents who are grievieng because right now i dont see life with out him

 my namei  is mary at the age of nine iaccepted god as mypersonel savior  i  remember  my joy was going to church as afamily  seeing my dad play the guiter at church  at a early age i feelt the presents of god throughout my teenage years       and into adulthood iserved god  itwas not  easy  there  were  alot of trials  along  the way topainfull to write  about   getting married at a early age  was getting into something iwas not ready for   the doctors said icould not have any childrsn  iremember praying  and begging god for a son  ipromise if he gave me ason i would  dedicate my son  to him   before  my son was born  iorderd his bible  with his name  iknew his  name before he was born   thhroughout my preagnacy    ihad  alot of complacations  but imade it  with gods grace  at the end of my preagnacy i became verry  sick  all  icould remember  is the doctor hugging my paremts and taiking to them  as that was happing ilost councious  iremrmber    a ghost figure in front of me with a robe as white as snow  with a belt of gold  it open abook and was reading    it  as it open it i could noy under stand   aword it was spoken in alanguage idid not understand  and it was looking at me and reading idont remember feelling afraid  ater that  isaw like a rainbow colors  that ican not name  and a angel was playing the violin  made of gold the most beatuifull music inever heard  after that my son william was born  and after that irecoverd completly  in  his child hood he serve god his kids and god were the love of his life  thats why ihave a hard time under standihg why him in  my lost i grief the lost of my son and god  all iever wanted was to live a happy life

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Comment by Peggy Jeanine Woody on April 4, 2011 at 7:47pm
Mary, I totally understand. My loss was my oldest son, Shawn. He was 41 +hen he passed. I know my life will never be the same either. I have a hole in my heart just about the size of Shawn. He passed from a massive coronary. He was a bilateral amputee, from a car accident. He had horrendous phantom pain and suffered for 18 years. My belief is that his pain and suffering had come to an end, and is now at rest and waiting for thhhe rest of us to join him.i also know that God works all things to the good for us who are callled according to His purposes. Thhat does not mean that we don't suffer in missing them. Plus there is something special about our first borns. You are in my prayers.

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