Hi Everyone.

   I have been thru sudden death and I understand what people go thru each day when they experience that in there lives. What happened to me I was sitting on my chair in the living room. my late husband told me he was going to take a shower and get dressed and watch tv. he looked very grey he was not himself at all. so I did not think much about it.  so I went to go check in on him. he was sitting up in bed with his mouth open and his head back and his hands were turning purple. so I freaked out I called 911 and the ambulance went to the wrong house. finally the ambulance came to the house and before hand I tried to help by doing cpr but to no avail we got him on the floor 3 more parametics came and worked on him. I was outside with me dog

and I asked them if he would be ok. they told me there was no sign of life.

you know how when your in shock you are driving to the hospital

as if it was slow motion and not know where you are going? that was me

I was numbed and it felt like an old movie playing slow. when I got there and checked in the brought me to a room. the doctor came in and they tried everything they could to revive him but it was no good.

he was gone. I cried and cried. and being jewish I called hims family

and he wanted to be berried next to his mother. I am catholic and the family did not accept me really at all even though I took care of him and all.

when I was in the airport I had one of his family members scream at me that his body was not shipped fast enough. here I just lost him the day before and I had to deal with all of this.  I do not talk to his family anymore and the way they treated me was bad. I could not

wait to get back home to south Carolina. i am not jewish

so i will not visit his grave it is all the way in NY so not

worth the trip.  but it has been 2 years now and i have learned to deal with it and i have people around me that are supportive of me as well.

so now i have moved on. but i knew he was dying and he was ready to go. and now i am starting life over and i am very grateful for each day.

i do miss  him but before he died he told me to remarry again so i am looking.