September 2011 Blog Posts (41)

What should it been the Biggest Celebration!!!

What should it been the Biggest Celebration has turned into moments of nervousness, anxiety, despair, sadness, but joyful too. My son will turn 2 this Friday, September 16, 2011. I also feel guilty, as a bad mother for not having that excitement in me for my son. He has already lost so much that it is so unfair for him for me to feel this way. My husband loved my son so very, very, much. Last…

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Added by Amanda Ab on September 14, 2011 at 12:33pm — No Comments

If there is one thing that I am learning from my Grief, it is that I have a lot to learn.

While we're alive, our lives are a lesson to be learned.

When we lose someone very close to us,

the real learning begins........

I will always keep a #2 pencil handy!

 

grief [griːf]

n
1. deep or intense sorrow or distress, esp at the death of someone
2. something that causes keen distress or suffering…
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Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 13, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments

GriefShare support group at North Point Community Church

4 months have passed since I lost the love of my life, and my best friend. I did very well the first couple of months...tried very hard to just embrace the grieving process...to use it as an opportunity perhaps for growth and deeper reliance on God... but the past month or 2 I have been ignoring it all... I have been trying to forget all of the pain by living like I'm someone else... ignoring who I truly am. I have numbed myself to my unhealthy behaviors because I tell myself it doesn't…

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Added by Kathryn Schmidt on September 12, 2011 at 10:14pm — No Comments

A tiny, tiny ray of hope?

Today I met a group of Mark's friends and we put up a cross at the site where his accident happened. I thought it would do something...make it real, bring me some peace...anything. But I just felt numb. Then something very strange happened. I left there and drove to pick up my son at a friend's house where he had spent the night. I had never met this boy's mother before. As I walked up to the house, I noticed a stone in the landscaping that said something about treasured memories of those we…

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Added by Rhonda Baertsch on September 11, 2011 at 4:35pm — 1 Comment

New To This: Lost my young husband

I am new to this and have yet to develop a page.  I am not even sure what a blog post is. 

 

I am 34 years old and was married to my husband, Chris...age 35.  He was in Denver on business when I called him because our 3 year old wanted to talk to him.  A nurse picked up his phone and asked who I was.  I told her and she said she was getting a Dr.  The Dr said they couldn't get a heartbeat.  My husband died suddenly of a heart attack while driving.  This was 6 week ago.  We have…

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Added by Shayna Uptigrove on September 11, 2011 at 8:30am — 4 Comments

But You Are An Adult Now

There are a lot of people that believe that it is now time for me to "get over" my mothers death. She passed away when I was very young. I know it was such a long time ago. But for the longest time I just ran. I did not reflect. I did not live. I just ran deeper and deeper inside of myself. I wrote endless short stories and novels. I just buried my world into fantasy. I wasn't able to come out of that…

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Added by Jalysa Reyes on September 9, 2011 at 12:10am — 1 Comment

One day we'll all look back

I took a temp job for this week.  

I am sitting at the desk of a woman I worked with in the late 1980's and haven't seen her since then.

Her last name is Greever.

Imagine that!!  Greever?  Wow!!

A day will come where we will all be surprised.

We'll see beyond the grief because our love is way stronger than it.

We will have graduated from the grieving.

Hope your days are peaceful.


Michael 

Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 7, 2011 at 11:36pm — No Comments

I lost my gradfather this week and I'm supposed to feel grief over that. I loved my pap dearly and yet all I feel is anger over the fact that he had 88 years of life and my Mark had only 38. I just c…

I lost my gradfather this week and I'm supposed to feel grief over that. I loved my pap dearly and yet all I feel is anger over the fact that he had 88 years of life and my Mark had only 38. I just can't mourn 88. Or maybe I just have no greiving left inside me. I sat at the service and cried for Mark.

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Added by Rhonda Baertsch on September 7, 2011 at 10:41am — 1 Comment

9/7

I joined this group and then stopped visiting for a while. I think I hit a denial stage where I just wanted to avoid anything that made it real. I lost my boyfriend on July 14 in a motorcycle accident. The weeks since have been a journey I wouldn't wish on anyone. I mourn for him, but selfishly I feel I mourn for what we should have had but never got the chance. I should have had years with him and I didn't get it. I'm almost 40 and, finally, had found the love of my life and he was taken…

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Added by Rhonda Baertsch on September 7, 2011 at 10:21am — 1 Comment

Michael is Out To Lunch with Jami and Mom

Going out for a burger today, just after the Butterfly shadow incident.  Rollin' down the road looking for a bite to eat!

Then the grief wave hits, I was THINKING about being alone, FEELING alone,  even though I have my child to myself....must FEEL sorry for myself, that's selfish.  I shouldn't THINK this way, do I really FEEL this way?  It's making me FEEL not so good...THINKING this way.  I miss my wife and mom, FEELINGS of much sadness engulf me....I am living a life without…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 7, 2011 at 12:00am — No Comments

Super Butter Fly

It's amazing that I don't think I am going crazy.  Saw a butterfly shadow today on the pavement of the parking lot when walking to my car to go to lunch from work. It was about a minute later, after looking around 6-10 different times for the butterfly that I finally spotted a monarch butterfly just when I didn't expect to ever see more than the shadow.

It was just weird in a fun kind of way!  My wife Jami was a lot like that.  That just never happened to me before.

The shadow…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 6, 2011 at 10:59pm — No Comments

I remember

I remember Grandpa Ellis:

Hearing his chocolate voice echo through the phone. His advice peppered with a tar heel tone; Sometimes his words were hard to swallow.

 

I remember Grandpa Ellis:

An oak of a man with a forest green points and a tan top. I give him i a gift a trembling like a leaf. Soon I join him on the navy blue love seat and I am at…

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Added by Nora Votsch on September 5, 2011 at 7:38pm — No Comments

WORK

My boyfriend and I managed a hotel, now that he has passed away the owners, have fired me. So along with me grief over his traumatic loss, which I was there to personal witness his death by robberies, I also have to deal with no job. Just how much can I handle?

 

I am just so tired!!

Added by Emily Elizee on September 5, 2011 at 5:35pm — 4 Comments

Associations

A friend had mentioned this, but I hadn't realized how true it was until today. My friend came out to visit a couple weeks ago, and commented on how most places we went I seemed to have some association with Ariel.  She said it'd probably do me some good to get away, to re-set my connections with the world around me.  I didn't think much of it at the time.  It hadn't seemed to affect me all that much before.  Today, however, I took my new camera to a park to test it out some more.  It's a…

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Added by Sean Casey on September 5, 2011 at 4:50pm — No Comments

Without You

Heaven must have been very lonely without you

for God has called you home

Before it was your time here on earth



Heaven must have been very depressed without you

for the way you lift everyone's spirit

But there is no one left here to do that for me



Heaven must have been very dull without you

for You always made everyone smile

But now there are tears for you here On Earth



Heaven must have needed you much more than we did

but I… Continue

Added by Ronna Doescher on September 5, 2011 at 12:22pm — No Comments

Relearning - Easier said than done, but the majority of us bounce back.

Grieving response is about coming to terms with, and possibly learning from, the brokenness and sorrow that come over us. Grieving response is about relearning how to be ourselves and to live meaningfully again, carrying the pain of missing those we mourn, returning to what still works from life as it used to be, and stretching into the necessarily new shapes of our daily lives and futures. It is also often about personal growth, living in fuller appreciation of what we previously took for…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 4, 2011 at 11:30pm — No Comments

Nothing educates us like Grief

Life is the classroom

Grief is the final exam

How we turn out depends on what we've learned

- Michael Ballard

Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 4, 2011 at 9:31pm — 1 Comment

The Sound of My Mom's Laugh

I finally fly home to celebrate my birthday with my mom and sister. And also, to bring them to the house that they haven't seen since Dad died and I had to move them into a home.  I'm dreading this and have been so stressed out for months about this.  I pray it all goes well because if it does, it lets me bring them home for all these holidays that are coming soon. thanksgiving, christmas, birthday.  All the holidays that meant so much to Dad that his family be together and that he could…

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Added by Elke on September 3, 2011 at 6:22pm — No Comments

Grief Diet


"If grief was as easy as pie, then life would be a piece of cake."

 --   M Ballard

Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 2, 2011 at 11:35pm — 1 Comment

Life is everlasting....

"I want people to understand that life is everlasting.  Everything that happens in your life has a purpose.  There is no one you are close to who ever dies.  Everyone just goes on to another stage of life that runs parallel to this one.  Be at peace with yourself and fulfill your mission, knowing that your stay here is temporary, and that your are doing something here to fulfill your spiritual purpose.  Tune in more to yourself  and understand more within yourself so that you can find your…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on September 1, 2011 at 10:30am — 3 Comments

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Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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