my dearest husband

two months....60 days....1,440 hours.......86,400 minutes........5,184,000 seconds no matter how you add it up it equals too much time away from each other. too many tears cried. too many questions unanswered. this still feels so very unreal. like this horrible nightmare im waiting to wake up from. you would be proud of me I think. yeah I have fucked up but im trying. every day I wake up and try. some days are better then others. some days its all I can do to get…

I lost my soulmate and father to my son on april 3rd of this year. he was killed in an industrial accident at work. its been less then 2 months so far but so many people are telling me already its time to move on. how do you tell your heart to stop feeling when you were with someone for 10 years,im lost and feel somewhat out of control. I find myself turning to alcohol and other vices to ease the pain I feel. which of course gives others yet another chance to shame me and feel like they know…