Today has been a good day, as far as I can measure them lately. I made it through work without having to excuse myself at any point. That was a good day, I suppose.

I've really been thinking a lot about how I've been managing my grief (not very well) and what Craig would think of it. I'm 100% positive he would not want any of his family to be despondent or to be as grieved as we all are. He was such an upbeat and positive person. Nothing was gonna get him down, if you had…

Last night after I wrote my initial entry, I sat here and stared at the screen wondering when this was supposed to start helping me. I chatted with a couple of other members who were very nice and welcoming and then I just felt exhausted. I decided to drag my rump to bed hoping that I would finally sleep through an entire night as dog tired as I was. And then my mom called my cell phone. She asked if I wanted a present. Confused, I asked her what she was talking about. She said she was…

So, I am a new member to a site I had never dreamed I'd want to be a part of. And quite frankly, in this very moment I still do not wish to be a part of this community. Yet, here I am. I am only one of countless people shuffling through their day, overcome by grief and heartache.

My story starts when my older brother, Craig, retired from the Marine Corps in 2011. He had put in a full twenty years and was looking forward to the start of his next chapter: civilian life. Where,…