I think the shock of what has happened is all I can explain..,there is not much you can do to take away the anger and pain... It is very hard to move forward

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Michelle I am so sorry for what has happened.  It is early days in your journey and everything you're feeling is normal.  There are some good books you can get from a grief councellor or ask your doctor for.  I know the last thing you want to do is read these books but glancing through them will let you see that any and anything you feel is normal and I found that helpful.  Some things that I didnt know could happen with my emotions shocked me, but I come here, post it and have others tell me they too have felt that.  In some small way it calms me to know Im not alone, or going crazy.  I wish I could take your pain away but noone can do that.  And I wont welcome you to this group because no one should be here.  Im glad you found this site though. 

Anna, thank you I try reading , I guess that is how I found this site.. I read Simeon's say her mind was her prison and yes that is true ,,, it just plays over and over like a mystery I don't want to solve...

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Hitting me

My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
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