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Permalink Reply by Tim on August 28, 2011 at 7:40pm

Hi,

  My wife died about two weeks ago we were marries for 19 years,the first week,no sleep,but I went back to work,a couple time went right home,it was to quiet,so I joined the hospice,there you can talk to other people,other wise I do not go right home I go to the park and just sit for hours,then I am just so tired,I go right to sleep,today is the first time I made dinner,the most inportant thing is you have to take care of yourself

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Permalink Reply by Susan Z Z Wooten on October 18, 2011 at 9:52pm

Omg I am crying now reading this.....it feels the same...except i have sleep meds to help me sleep....my horrors start each morning when i awake.   it is awful waking to now, instead of then....it is like a dream world i shall never inhabit again.  I HATE waking up. 

I don't know how to fix that. but ask your doctor for sleep meds.  If he won't give them to you, try tylenol PM, 

some sleep meds are not good I tried several Rx meds that were awful....bad bad dreams, etc. so try over the counter like Tylenol PM.  (I have chronic pain so this works for me) .

until you accept me as a friend, i cannot see your whole story and history, so hope to.

You reaching out to me means so much to me.......thank you

from SC

Susan xoxoxo

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Permalink Reply by Tim on October 23, 2011 at 7:13am

Hi Susan,

  First of all,no pills at all.

First of all I was going to hospice,they have therapist there,and group meetings,it is ok,it is not just for cancer,The group meeting did not help,so I did not help but it may help you,it is good to talk :) .So i told my boss I did not go back,and he got papers for a local church in my area ,the meeting was about a weekend retreat call "Beginning Experience",I was not sure but I paid for the couple of days,and you have a couple of people that are members that run the meetings,you have one big group meeting then they split into two or three people  that is called a small group,after the big meeting on the way out you get a couple pieces of paper with questions on it,you go to your room,and you write your thoughts in a notebook,then when they are ready they send you to your small group room,and there is three members and three people who need help,they go through each question with each person and you have to speak your answers to everyone no matter the pain and you do this 5 or 6 time a day,all different questions,then on saturday they had a priest come  and you can if you want see the priest and do a confession,and it really made me feel good ,

  then Sunday we go to church, but you may think all this is not helping but,I almost went home ,but it really helped..

   I wish I knew how I could accept you as a friend,I have no idea                                                                                                                                                                       

 

            Tim

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Permalink Reply by Ben Holifield on October 27, 2011 at 5:09am

Dear Anna,

I know all too well the sleepless nights that you speak of.  It is after 5 AM and I am still up from the night before.  Sleep has been a rare thing for me for the past month.  When I do sleep I find myself waking up, still groggy, looking at my phone to see if she has called.  Every night I pray, wish, and hope that I can at least have a dream of us together, holding hands, walking, dancing, making love, something, ANYTHING.  I just want some kind of contact with her even if it's not real.  I have always had trouble sleeping, but this has become a real burden.  I have found solice before from sleep medication and I feel as though I will have to turn to them again.  If you are contemplating medication might I suggest Lunesta.  It worked wonders for me as I would tire within thirty minutes of taking one, and I would wake up without the sluggish "hang-over" affect caused by many of them.  May your nights get easier, your dreams comfort you, and your mornings come with a renewed hope of life.

Sincerely,

Ben

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Permalink Reply by mercy on October 27, 2011 at 3:54pm

I also have sleepless nights, I lost my brother in June 2010 and my mom in May 2011. Its been two very traumatic losses for me. I always hope for my day to come. I take ambien, ten mgs, sometimes it works well sometimes not.Lunesta doesn't work for me and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I've been taking prescription sleeping pills for months now just to get enough sleep to function. The time it takes for me to fall alsleep varies but its usually torture, since I spend that time in the deepest, darkest place one can ever be in.

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Permalink Reply by Blue Eyes Crying on November 9, 2011 at 6:09am

You said it yourself. You need him to hold you. You need to feel safe again in his arms. I am the same way. I would give anything to spoon up to David's warm, sweet body and just soak in his incredible warmth. Sleeping together was the most wonderful part of marriage, And now it's gone. Forever

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Permalink Reply by Tim on November 9, 2011 at 8:44pm

Hi  Blue eyes crying,

  Since losing my wife in august,I joined Beginning experience,it is all over the world,I stayed the two nights and it really changed my life,I feel better,it was tough going through it but it really worked..

  You can look it up online.http://www.beginningexperience.org/

    Try it   thanks

          Tim

 

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