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Permalink Reply by Shantel Collins on September 3, 2011 at 7:16pm

Sometimes I feel like I deserve the pain in my life too, for not being a better sister to my brother before he was shot to death at the age of 17. When my brother was hit by a car years ago, I could have visited him in the hospital but i didnt. When i was trying to get closer to other people and spending thousands on myself and others, I should have done more for him. We grew apart as we got older, and I had resentment against him because my mother treated us different. It was wrong of me to take it out on him. I remember telling him that I hated him because we got into a stupid fight over the tv, and now its too late to take it back. However, we are all human and make mistakes. Beating ourselves up does not do our loved ones any justice. Punishing ourselves will not fix anything and it wont make you feel better. I believe my brother wants me to do better. He wants me to use this energy to become a better person like he is and do better within the world. If I continue to suffer, that will do nothing. I am useless that way. That does not make the deceased feel better. When you advance to a higher spiritual plane, you release anger or sadness. You simply want your loved ones to climb up with you.

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Permalink Reply by christianlee on September 11, 2011 at 3:41am

I feel your pain. I lost my dad two months ago and was not able to tell him goodbye. He was gone before me and my three boys got to the hospital. We were close we nearly saw him everyday. I am very sad and feel bad that I didn't see him the day before or that morning. Why I didn't get to say goodbye?? It truly hurts my heart.

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