No One Needs Me any more

I have lost everything.  My beloved Rick to deasth, my sister has new beau, son cory, step mom, real dad and step dad.  Other than sister not close anyone else as I am black sheep of family.  Rick's family does not acknowledge me.  My children are grown and one won't even come visit me while I am in town.  I was a good mom, but step mom pretty much took away from me everything I built with kids.  I gave them voluntarily to ex husband so that they could stay infamily home and keep friends.  That was a good decision because it offered stability during divorce.

Now I am alone in this world and have no one to be with or to help. I just feel like I would be better off dead.  I feel like such a burden to my family and the very few friends I have.  I keep thinking there would be little tears or feeling of loss if I just disappeared from face of earth.  This is made harder because my beloved soul mate died just three weeks ago.

When I talk to local crisis line, all they want to do is hospitalize me, which is not the answer.

 

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Permalink Reply by Shantel Collins on August 31, 2011 at 3:01am
Dont give up. My brother was murdered , I understand pain. But he didnt give up even after having a crappy life. He fought to do better right up to the very end. If your soul mate didnt give up, you should not either.
Permalink Reply by Shantel Collins on August 31, 2011 at 3:10am
Honor and respect your loved ones memory by keeping them alive within you. And I am lonely too. If I cant have my brother, it feels useless connecting to other people sometimes. But the day will come when i can start all over with new and better experiences, and that day will come for you too. Sometimes people arent meant to stay in our lives. We have to take these as lessons and carry them over into whatever life throws at us next.

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