Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Davis on August 13, 2011 at 7:20pm

I am glad it is helping you because it is helping me too being on this site. "Move on".??

How can we possibly move on.  I am frozen in the depths of my grief and suffering that can not possibly be spoken into words.  I can not even bear to look at her picture.  I understand.  I am so sorry that anyone has to suffer the way we have to at this time.  I don't feel like I will ever be ok.  My life is changed.  I will never have another Mother's Day with her,and I spent my 50th birthday alone in a ball in bed.  I do understand and my heart is with you.

Permalink Reply by Linda McDonnell on August 15, 2011 at 7:00pm

I can so relate to your comment.  My family is telling me to be positive and move on but they don't understand.  I lived with my mom most of my life.  I know she's in a better place as she was suffering.  I am suffering without her here and feel guilty about that.  I just don't know how to move on.  She was my life and now i feel like I don't have one.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Davis on August 8, 2011 at 10:34am

I am so sorry for your loss.  The truth - there is nothing you can do.  I only tell you this because I have lived it.  Just keep breathing, try not to be alone, and don't forget to eat.  I know that it sounds very basic, but it really is.  The pain is so overwhelming, consuming, and devastating that I could not even function.  I truly understand and there is nothing worse than this pain.  Take one second at a time. I still reach for the phone to call my mom.  I long to hear her voice.  All I can tell you is I am so sorry.  Grief is a mystery.  For me it has been three years and it seems like just moments ago that she died in my arms.  I still can not bear to look at her picture.  Just know that with this site we all are walking through the loss.

My love and prayers are with you.

Permalink Reply by mercy on August 8, 2011 at 1:01pm

Thanks dear. These days, if I get a moment of joy, I savour it since they are few and far between. Last night I sat at the computer and pulled as many Nursey rhymes as I could find on you tube and sang along with my 21 month old. This gave me a break from my depressing thoughts. The support you all give me is very much appreciated.

Permalink Reply by mercy on August 15, 2011 at 12:54pm

Hi Suzanne; God will give you a child if that is the desire of your heart. My baby is my life; people say I'm spoiling her but I really don't know how to do things any different. She has never slept in her own room since when I'm home, I don't like being too far from her. Children are such a joy, I cannot understand women who kill their kids, I cry for those babies a lot, I wish they would give them to someone who wants one like you. Before mom died, I wanted to go into nursing (I'm a librarian); now I can't see myself in nursing, its so hard for me to even look at pictures of sick people as it just makes me think of my mom in a hospital bed. I know you are in the right field; we need more people like you to be in the field that requires compassion.

Permalink Reply by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 17, 2011 at 1:45am

Hi,

       I am the sameway i just lost my grandma on August 13th and i feel so lost without her.. I dont know how I am going to move on with my life now.. I cant sleep, I cant eat, it feels like the sky is fallen down on me... 

Permalink Reply by Kevin Velez on August 29, 2011 at 7:37pm

hi Laura.  What helped you to fall asleep?  It's been a rough week not being able to fall asleep. I've exercised for an hour, cleaned the apt, drank warm milk, melatonin (a natural sleeping aid).  I don't like prescribed sleeping pills since I wake up feeling worst than when I fell asleep. even after a tiring day, my mind was wide awake when I tried to go to bed. 

 

the insomnia is probably due to my mom's death in June 2011.   I am sorry you have had a bad experience with others not understanding you.  I'm also in my 30s and do not find many others the same age that understand since they haven't experienced it - so I close myself off.  unfortunately, not talking about it results in other manifestations, such as not sleeping. 

 

 

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Davis on August 29, 2011 at 8:02pm

I understand how you feel about sleeping pills but remember that you may need them right now.  God Bless You.  I know that the black hole you feel in your soul is unbearable.  Keep coming here to talk.  Love, Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Davis on August 29, 2011 at 8:00pm

God Bless You and I am sorry for your loss.  The truth - there is nothing you can do.  I still have to take it minute by minute.  My doctor had to put me on a sleeping pill and that helped me a lot.  I too was very very close to my mom.  Just coming here and talking to other people that understand your pain seems to help me.  You are in my prayers.

Suzanne

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