Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robin Nicole Pena on May 13, 2011 at 9:42am

well said amy :)

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on May 15, 2011 at 5:12pm

Amy-

Thank you for our response.  I am having a very difficult time coming to terms that my life will never be the same again.  I lost my mother, best friend, mentor, counselor......the list goes on and on.  My mother was taken so suddenly that it is hard to believe that I won't ever see her again in this life.  Your words do make me realize that I have to keep moving forward for myself and the people that are here and still love me.  I would love to hear more from you and how to cope w/ such a loss.  Thanks.

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on April 24, 2011 at 8:46pm

I dont know what to say Robin....i honestly have not thought about mother's day....I lost my mom about 5 months ago and am a shell of a person, not that that helps you....what I do is just try and get through the day and not think about it too much....its just another day, its just a day that was noted for mothers, but it is just another day, think of it that way....thats what I would do....try not to think about it being the first mothers day without her, etc....if you try and not focus on holidays too much it should hopefully help

 

Rachel

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on April 25, 2011 at 6:05pm

Thank you so much for your advice Rachel.  I'm not sure why I didn't think of it in that way.  I think that I am so wrapped up in my loss that I can't see much beyond that.  I have been in my own shell for 9 months now and I'm trying how to figure out how to get my life back as best I can.  Thanks again- I will definitely try looking at it that way!!

Permalink Reply by Robin Nicole Pena on May 5, 2011 at 10:56am

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom 2 and a half years ago. It will be 3 years in November. The first year I lost her; I tried to just pick up a shift at work, sort of as a distraction, but for me that didn't work. I thought about it the whole time I was at work. Last year, I just stayed home and watched movies that I used to watch with my mom. That was our favorite activity to do together. Actually that worked out really well. Because I even though I did cry, I laughed too, and I remembered all of the good times that I had with her. Remembering those good memories made me grateful that I got to spend that time with her. My mom was sick, so the fact that she isn't suffering anymore, comforts me as well. It's very tough. There are even times when you feel like holy crap is this feeling ever gonna go away????!!!! But when its such a significant loss like this, you have to deal with it for the rest of your life. You never really get over it. You just learn to deal with it. Even after almost 3 years, it still feels fresh sometimes. But know that you are not alone. I most definitely feel your pain. I hate those damn Mother's Day commercials too!! Lol! I will be thinking of everyone you and everyone else here this weekend. God bless honey.

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on May 6, 2011 at 5:48pm

Thank you for your reply.  I totally feel like is this crap ever gonna go away and it's only been 9 months.  I had no idea that this would be so painful.  I knew it would be difficult but I just didn't know that it would hurt to the core like it does.  Do you have any tips on accepting what has happened?  Thanks.

Permalink Reply by Robin Nicole Pena on May 6, 2011 at 11:56pm

Acceptance. Now there's a tough one. Stages of grief will follow you all of the time and not in any particular order either. Acceptance is one of them. They only tip I can give you, is whatever you're feeling, just let yourself feel it. I personally like to be alone on days like that. Days you know that it's going to hard for you. It's great to know that people would be there for you, but they don't know what you are feeling because every loss is a unique one. Only you know what you shared with your mother and what kinda of relationship you had. That's how I feel. As I said before I like to watch movies that me and my mom used to watch. I laugh and I think of our good times, and I cry because I miss her, but in a weird way, it's almost like I'm still spending Mother's day with her, because she's in my heart, and no one can ever take take that away from me. So my advice is to do something in honor of your mom, know that she is still with you. Maybe not physically, but spiritually.  Light a candle and have a moment of silence, or do something that you two used to do together. Grief is funny, and there are some days where you will accept it and some days where you won't. But as I said before, just let yourself feel what you;re feeling. It will benefit you in the long run. Stay strong honey!

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on June 12, 2011 at 6:16pm

Marie-

Thank you for your concern regarding the chest pains.  Sadly I am STILL having them.  I have had several EKG's and an echocardiogram.  A cardiologist said he did not think I have anything heart related going on.  I have had 2 doctors diagnose my pain as being stress related.  I wish there was a way to make the pain stop but I don't know how.  The longer my moma has been gone the harder it gets.  I am so glad that you were vigilant w/ your partner's pain and saved his life.  Thanks again for your concern.  It's nice to have others out there who care.

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