I just lost my mom on February 17th, Ash Wednesday.  I don't know if you could ever be "prepared" but it was kind of unexpected.  She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer the 2nd week of September, just before my birthday.  We (my brother and I, my husband and kids) were devastated by the diagnosis.  All the pleas of begging her to quit smoking came rushing in.  I, myself, quit 12 years ago this past New Years.  I quit for her when she had her first TIA and the doctor recommended she quit smoking.  She survived the chemo and radiation but lost so much weight.  We struggled to get her to eat.  She became very weak.  Then she started talking about seeing my dad being in the house, while they were divorced, she still loved him and considered him "her" husband as their traditional catholic nuptials were never annulled.  Then I became worried.  Despite her oncologist saying she can survive and we just need to get some weight on her to make her stronger, she had a stroke and heart attack and died 2 days later.  Devastated doesn't come close to how I feel.  All the caring for her personally, cooking anything I thought she might love, filling her with ice cream, yogurts, jello, farina, all in an effort to help her gain some strength.  Bathing her, applying cream to her body, purchasing all new clothing for her tiny frame of 85 pds.  All for nothing.  So now, I wait for time to start easing the pain.  I hate that she is not here for me to talk to.