I was in a relationship with a man who had a long term girlfriend of 17 years.  This past weekend he committed suicide.  I am struggling and trying to process this as well as keep my family life normal at the same time.  I am married and my husband and I have a 5 year old.

I am destroyed and devastated and I am so worried I wont be able to move forward.  I am seeing a therapist.  I hope there is someone out there who has suggestions or guidance on this.  I am in a very dark place right now.

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Michelle,

I wish I had more comforting things to tell you. What I can say is that therapy is helping me, along with a good antidepressant. Grieving in secret is impossible, and I think makes it last longer because there is no community to share it with. I was in the same dark place for months. Everything triggered memories and pain, and I felt like I'd never be able to function again.

But the pain eventually gets duller, and the moments of sadness get fewer and less intense. Of course, it has been 8 months and there still isn't a day that I don't wish he were still here.

My advice is to find someone you can talk to and grieve in front of. I have one friend who knew about my relationship. I wouldn't have made it without her.

Wishing you the best and sending healing vibes. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Thank you Addie, I am sorry for your loss as well.

I do have a girlfriend that knows about this and I am so lucky that I have her, she has been my rock this past week. 

Thank you Emmy.  I am working on processing this, it is going to be a long bumpy road.  I know I will get through it.  

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