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Comment by Sue M on January 27, 2020 at 11:34pm

Hello Ammy 

thank you for your message, and yes I understand at some point we all need to step back and allow ourselves to move further down our path and that constant reminders can harm us. I have felt this way at times too. Big hug to you too and a prayer that life is smoother and richer for your future.

sue

Comment by Ammy on January 27, 2020 at 4:07pm

Hello Sue M & Shirelle, I am sorry for your loss.  I know the pain well.  And like Sue said, it does get "less sharp".  I don't think it ever goes away but definitely less intense.
We lost our son nine and a half years ago and not a day goes by that I don't remember him and miss him.  The tears still come but not as constant.
When I was on here almost every day there were a few of us moms here.  As time went on and a couple of years passed they slowly stopped coming as often.  I too stopped as I think we had said everything we could.  It becomes repetitive and for me it even became more painful.  That probably doesn't make sense right now, but someday it might.
I hope you both will stay here and help each other and maybe new members too.  I am no longer on the Internet as much as I was back then but I still get notices so I check in once in awhile.
Regretfully there is nothing that can make this pain go away, but it can be eased sometimes having someone else going through it with you.
My heart feels your grief.  I believe that the thing that may have helped me the most was just trying to stay in the day and trying not to look ahead or look back too often.
We each travel our own grief road and hopefully find something that helps us get through it.
Hugs and prayers for you both.       

Comment by Sue M on January 26, 2020 at 11:24pm

im sorry Shirelle, the computer changed your name to Shirley. 

Comment by Sue M on January 26, 2020 at 11:22pm

Hello Shirley,

im so sorry for you and your family. I know how deep, sharp, and unimaginable this pain is. I know too how it breaks you up and your world too. It was like looking through a broken kaleidoscope for me. Nothing seemed whole, I trusted no one or anything. 

I send you what you need the most right now, and that's a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on as long as you need and the understanding only a mother can know. 

People would say to me it gets better, I didn't believe them or I didn't want it to. That meant to me I was forgetting him and every precious second of his life I wanted to recall and never forget. That seemed the worst to me. But the pain does become less sharp over time, it does allow you to breathe and to function, one day. You need this, nobody can sustain that level of pain over such a long time. You need the breaks from it and the lessening sharpness of it.

your other children will also be suffering, seeing you in pain and also their own. I hope you can be strong so that they can feel they can come to you.

i was alone in a foreign country, a new home and I didn't know anyone. My other children all adults were coping their own way. It was a terrible time but I came through. Some days the grief takes over again and that's ok, 

i am here and you can talk to me.

big hug

sue

Comment by Shirelle on January 26, 2020 at 6:15pm

My son came home for 3 month then died

Comment by Shirelle on January 26, 2020 at 6:04pm

My son pass away Nov 25 at 936am my life has not been the same I really feel lost , empty nothing to live for but I have 3 other kids I love them more than anything I just don't know what to do please can someone help me

Comment by Sue M on January 14, 2020 at 11:30am

Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's mom, your post really resonated with me. Its been three years, nearly four since I lost my second son Corey. I to walk in a sort of slumber half here and half there, brain operating just enough to get me by. But am I? It seems not. I have moved to my eldest sons town to be nearby for the birth of my first grand baby. I started working again within a job with other staff, I am here but not. Work goes well when I a man having short interactions with the patrons, I'm cheerful and helpful, but I am having difficulties with some of thr staff, I don't feel I'm a part of them. The birth of my grandchild coinciding with the move to a new place where I know no one opened up huge grief for me. I was happy for my son, but hurt so much for the son who would never meet this child or hold his own. Corey was the son who was closest to me and who wanted a family, while my eldest son was more focused on his own passions. Oh god how complicated it all is. Each day I bury my feelings, I am happy grandma, cheerful coworker, helpful mother in law, but no one ever wants to hear how it is for me or see the real me. The half brain, half heart, half finished me. Thankful to have this forum to express this. Thank you to anyone who shares here. 

Comment by Teresa D. on November 30, 2019 at 9:43pm

Julie, my deepest condolences. My heart is with you. Hugs

Comment by Dolly on August 19, 2019 at 9:19pm

Do we ever stop having those days that seem just like the day it all happened? when nothing else seems real and all we feel is the pain again? does it ever just not happen any more? 

Comment by Teresa D. on August 19, 2019 at 10:07am

Connie I'm sorry but just know your words do stay in my head.

Keven's mom...I'm so sorry that phone came.  There's nothing I can say or do to make this easier on you.  Just know we know exactly how you feel.  Your son will live on forever through you. 

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