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Permalink Reply by M Adams on September 2, 2017 at 5:46pm

That happened to me as well, though now, fourteen months later, not as frequently. For me tears tend to come at times I associate with things we did together, which was pretty much everything. Waking up would always involve thinking about our upcoming day, and, because he loved good food, figuring out what would be a treat for breakfast. This was especially true the last few years when he had more health problems. In nice weather we would eat outside on the balcony, so waking up, making breakfast, or being on the balcony all made me cry. It's only in the last month that I have gone out on the balcony and sat there just on my own.

Probably too much detail but just to indicate that it seems to me that crying when you wake up would not be an unusual response to the loss of a beloved partner

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Permalink Reply by morgan on September 3, 2017 at 1:45am

Helen.

The only thing wrong is that your partner is no longer here.  Everything that happens as a result of that is normal.  Grief is underestimated and given textbook explanations when it is the most raw, frightful, devastating. horrific (shall I go on?) life event.  Who wants to be here when the other half of us is gone?  Not me.  Likely not you or anyone here who has lost their spouse.  

Crying is natural and normal.  It just depends on the person how much but I can honestly say after four+ years I am still crying a lot.  And you know what?  I have decided that it is the one thing that brings me to a place where I am honest about how I feel about life.  I don't want to be here.  The rest of the time when I am acting out life which most people call normal I know it is just fake.  

My crying varied as I went through the years.  Mornings, afternoons, in a store, at home, in bed, not in bed........essentially everywhere.  Anymore I'll try to stuff it down if it erupts in public and I try to get to my car quickly and then I let it happen. I have found society has put us in a place where we are supposed to question our grief.  Really?  Question that the best thing that ever happened to me I am supposed to move on from in 6 months. 

Cry when needed.  Its' more than normal.  It's necessary. 

morgan

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Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on September 3, 2017 at 4:08am

I think it would be more worrying if you didn't cry, I think mornings are horrific as every time you open your eyes the truth hits you that she's gone and you will never ever wake up next to her again. It's the worst time for me, especially as I seem to dream about us being together as normal and then have to face the truth. Just cry and don't question anything x

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Permalink Reply by Ginger on March 23, 2018 at 1:33pm

No,I think it might be the grieving process because the same happens to me and then I go about the day ,the tears start again and depending on what mood I'm in ,it will bother me that everyone can go about their day as normal and it seems that everyone has forgotten about my daughter,but me. I just recently lost my only adult daughter to cancer,not been 2 months yet.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on March 25, 2018 at 5:25pm

It's part of the grieving process for many people. The mornings are the worst for me, too, I think because every morning I wake up when I would rather have died in my sleep, and each time I am again hit with the realization that my husband is dead. Many times I find myself waking up because I am whimpering and shaking in my sleep, from sadness, fear, pain -- this happens less these days than it used to, but it does still happen, and regardless of whether this particular thing occurs, the mornings always suck even worse than the rest of the day. You are not alone.

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Permalink Reply by Shani Friedman on July 31, 2018 at 3:52pm

There's definitely nothing wrong with you. As a friend of mine said, you have to just let your emotions out when you need to and without judgment. I've cried in the mornings, evenings, while at the movies, etc. Maybe starting the day with grief is good and hopefully you're able to think about other things for the rest of the day. 

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