Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Emma Milner on October 19, 2017 at 4:58pm

Hey Jane
Im new too. Im the exact same. I lost my dad on May 14th this yr unexpectadly. I found it easier to deal with then than I do now. I miss him more now than i did in them first few weeks after. I am too struggling with everything. Having a smile and keeping going is so hard at the moment.

Permalink Reply by Jane Stilwell on October 19, 2017 at 5:13pm

I hate to hear about your dad :( We expected my dad's passing, but it definitely still sucks. I'm with you about it hurting more now. It's like, I find myself wanting to call and tell him so many things, especially about my daughter and my career, things I know he would love to hear about. He chose to be cremated which I am totally cool with, but I am not able to visit his ashes and I sure wish I had a place to go to visit him.

Permalink Reply by Emma Milner on October 19, 2017 at 5:18pm

I also cared for my Dad so ive had to find an entire new rountine well try too. So not seeing him everyday and chatting to him is hard. My Dad was cremated too. I have his ashes with me but not sure when I'll feel ready to scatter them. Is there a special place you both had or he had near you that you can go to to reflect to remember him?

Permalink Reply by Jane Stilwell on October 20, 2017 at 7:52am

I sure am glad you have him with you, at least until you're ready to scatter. That is beautiful. We did not have a special place, but I can think of one place I could go to that he liked to shoot guns at. Thank you for the idea. My boyfriend suggested I write to my dad...maybe I can go to that place and write to him.

In terms of finding a new routine...what are you trying instead? How do you keep busy?

Permalink Reply by Emma Milner on January 6, 2018 at 12:52pm

Hi Jane 

Sorry in the big delay but we sadly lost my older sister in november just 4 days before the 6 month anniversary of my Dad. 

It was hard with the routine. We was always tripping ourselves up with it at the start. We didnt do anything really other than just let us naturally fill out time as each day came.

Hope your ok xx

Permalink Reply by Ronald Wesley Murphy on July 22, 2020 at 12:12pm

I can totally relate.  I think that is one of those myths also.   I will never so called "get over it"  and I don't know that I want to.  I will somehow adjust to this new way.  My dad died almost a year ago and I struggle just as much now and more as the day it happened.  There is no right formula for grieving.  That's just how much they meant to us when we feel this way myself included.  Some people may never understand my void but that's ok.