"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Lost my Dad the day before my wedding :(
I not only am dealing with my dad's death but also am trying to be a newlywed which I have put no effort in lately. My husband tries to understand but I dont think he really understands the deep pain I feel and how this will forever change my life. My dad and I were extremely close. On October 8, 2010 he had a massive heart attack at the pool the day before my wedding in Cancun, Mexico. I have been in denial for the past three months and now it is slowly starting to feel real and I feel alone, unaccomplished, depressed, etc. Not to say my loss is any greater than anyone elses, but the circumstance it happened in has been DOUBLE hard. I joined this online support group to help me get through the grieving process through hearing other peoples stories and experiences.
Views: 1559
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Jordan on
-
People dont understand grief unless they've been down that road before. And absolutely, your circumstances are different than others. Your wedding must have been so hard for you... Im so sorry, Ash. Concentrate on the things you HAVE done, however small they may seem to you right now. They are accomplishments. Its hard to even get out of bed in the morning, but you do it sometimes, dont you? Just know that you aren't alone here. There are alot of people grieving and for me, reading about life stories like yours and trying to reach out and lend a hand helps.
-
Permalink Reply by D. Stone on
-
Ash, I know it is difficult and I know you are hurting. This is a good place to vent your feelings. Take some time to breathe and understand that your husband is grieving too, not they way you are, but he grieves because he loves you and he sees you in pain. Your Daddy has turned the torch over to him now..allow him to be your rock and he will be everything you need.
-
Permalink Reply by Mary Elizabeth Webb on
-
Dear Ash,
I am sorry to hear of your loss. And yes, that would be extraordinarily difficult to proceed through your wedding with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
My circumstances are different, but really they are the same--losing a loved one. I lost my mother, father and only brother to cancer. I know what it is like to lose a parent. It is hard to do no matter what transpired. I have learned alot through out these years about life and death. Our loved ones always remain connected to us...forever. They may not be here, but please know that your father loves you and watches over you. He would not want you to be sad forever, but to continue to live your life and most importantly be happy. Hold onto all the memories you have together. Remember the good times, laughter and love. Be proud to have been his daughter. I know it is hard. It took me some time to come to this conclusion. But, because of the peace I have found, I want to share it with those who struggle with this void.
If you need to talk please contact me.take care.
-
Permalink Reply by Denise Powers Fabian on
-
Dear Ash:
I was married on October 10, 2009; my father died on October 9, 2009--the day before my wedding, also. He had been diagnosed the previous April 10 with glioblastoma, an aggressive, uncurable brain cancer (Sen. Kennedy died of the same thing.). While we new it was terminal, he was doing very well and my wedding became as much of a last time to see get together with my dad as it was my wedding. He was only bedridden for 3 days. I was getting a spa treatment with my attendants while being on the phone making funeral arrangements. I delayed my honeymoon until after the funeral, went away from everything familiar, coming back to a six-inch stack of mail, as I was not POA/caregiver of my mother with end-stage Alzheimer's, while also guardian of my 22-year-old son with severe autism.
No matter the circumstances, everyone's grieving process is unique and takes its own journey. The most important thing is to feel what you feel and not try to numb it. If grief is not acknowledged, it cannot heal. If you can look at your grief not just as pain and loss, but also as evidenced that you loved! I have found that now after a year since my dad died, I am still grieving...probably stuck complicated grief as I have had to numb somewhat to carry on my job in pediatric palliative care and the responsibilities I have with my mother and adult son. And yet, I never want the day to come when my father does not come to mind. It's a paradox really: hurtful to remember--but comforting to reflect.
Please be gentle with yourself. I am glad you are here. My closest friends don't get it (my husband truly does), and to care for myself, I have had to take a time out from them...I can't keep up. That includes not even being in a wedding.
You're only three months into this...and what you're feeling is very appropriate and normal. Reaching out here is a big healthy step! I found this writing I have attached very helpful.
Denise Powers Fabian - Attachments:
-
Permalink Reply by Ash on
-
Wow Denise, you have made me realize that I am NOT alone. Thank you for your encouraging words and I can't believe the days were all so close for us October 8,9,10th...
-
Permalink Reply by kim marrah on
-
Ash, so sorry about your loss. My dad died on Dec, 28,2010. He was visiting me for Christmas and seemed to be doing really well. He looked so good,and we were so happy to be together on Christmas.Then on the night of the 28th he took a nap in my recliner and had a massive heart attack. It was horrible,and I miss him so much. We were extremely close also. I know your pain. It hurts so bad,and it is hard for me to be a wife or mother right now. Some days are better than others. My husband tries to understand but I'm like you,I dont think he truly understands because it wasn't his dad.
-
Permalink Reply by Megan on
-
Hi Ash,
I joined this website because I found your story while doing a google search about losing a father before a wedding. I thought I was completely alone with my feelings but am comforted knowing I am not alone in feeling this pain. I lost my dad the day before my wedding, July 22nd, 2011. I only had a few hours to decide if the wedding was going to happen or not. We went ahead and got married on the 23rd but I was still in such shock I hardly remember any of it. I'm having a really hard time adjusting to life without my dad, we were extremely close and I think the sudden nature of his death is really messing with me (he had a heart attack as well). I was actually out at my bachelorette party the night he died and am so angry and upset that I wasn't at home with him, though I know deep in my heart that there isn't anything I could have done.
It's been almost a year for you and I guess I'm hoping you'll check in and let me know how you're feeling. I know it's only been a couple months for me but the pain is still so agonizing I'm worried that it will continue to disrupt my life forever. I'm also worried that I will never be able to feel happy about my wedding and marriage because of the death.
Hope you are doing ok, please let me know how the process has been for you when you can.
-Megan
Groups
-
Traumatic loss of an onl…
37 members
-
Loss of a loved one to a…
4 members
-
Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
-
Grief Counseling
141 members
-
Sibling Loss
10 members
-
Losing My Sister
5 members
-
Losing a Sister
94 members
-
Funeral Service
2 members
-
I miss my Mom!
751 members
-
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
-
Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
-
Too Young To Die
17 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
324 members
-
Zoom Grief Support
39 members
-
Orphaned Adults
80 members
Latest Activity
My Fathers Loss
Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Traumatic loss of an only child
I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
"So sorry!💔💔💔💔💔"
© 2026 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
