I miss my boyfriend

My boyfriend died 4 months ago. He was the most incredible person I have ever met. I'm biased, obviously, but many people said the same thing. He had a way of making every person feel special, important, interesting and happy. When he walked into a room, he filled the room with light and laughter. He had the most amazing smile and I can't breathe thinking I will never see that smile again. he was also loyal with a huge heart, for the people he loved he would moved the world. And though he was not perfect, he made my world beautiful and I was so blessed to have him. We only had 2 years together and I feel like we were cheated of the rest of our lives. Not only us, but he was cheated of his whole life, he had so so much to offer and he was always just excited to live. He was only 24. I just miss him so much and I feel like I'm drowning. Although everybody thinks I am doing 'much better' I feel like I'm walking around missing an arm or a leg. I'm going through the motions but I'm just not really there

I hope that in time the pain will ease. I just wanted to write down my feelings and try to express them to you, because I'm finding it hard to explain to anybody else. I am just reaching out for some reassurance and I wanted to tell some people what an amazing person he was

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Permalink Reply by Charlotte scott on April 30, 2017 at 5:28pm
I just feel so lost, can anybody help?
Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on April 30, 2017 at 5:48pm
Hi Charlotte, I'm so sorry for your loss and believe me I know your pain. I can't offer much support as I'm going through the same, my partne died suddenly 7 weeks ago today. Like you just keeping breathing is a challenge enough. Carrying on as normal is way beyond me. Don't try to put on an act, people shouldn't expect you to be doing well. Just do only what you can cope with doing.
I only do what I have to, I only work to pay bills and feed animals, if I don't want to go out, I don't.
Just be kind to yourself, we got to get through this the best we can, we have to be grateful that we loved and were loved by such wonderful people. Some people live there whole lives and never have that. Keep writing on here, I find it helps as everyone understands hugs to you x
Permalink Reply by Charlotte scott on May 1, 2017 at 2:36am
Thank you Jackie. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this pain as well. I try to remind myself every day that I was blessed to know and love him
Permalink Reply by bluebird on April 30, 2017 at 9:11pm

Charlotte,

I can't really offer any advice or help, because I feel much the same way about my husband as you do about your boyfriend, and like you I am not really here, and my husband died nearly 5 years ago.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling as you do.

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