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Permalink Reply by Susan K on March 31, 2017 at 6:16pm

I understand completely...I lost my husband of 9 yrs to cancer 7weeks ago and I am just going through the motions shocked I make it through the day....I wish I could say something inspiring or anything that would make it easier for you but I got nothing...I too think its not fair that good people are taken by this awful disease. I am just trying to find balance in my new normal, I just take it one hour at a time and hope I can get through the day...Susan

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Permalink Reply by morgan on April 1, 2017 at 12:57am

I wish there was something I could say to help you get through it.  The only thing I guess that helped me somewhat in the beginning was to take baby steps and dont think too far ahead.  You will be overwhelmed at everything so thats why it is best to go real slow.  And for many people reading on here helps.  It helps to know you are not crazy and that everyone else is having the same exact feelings.  

And nothing about this will you find fair.  I have come to the conclusion that the earth is imploding.  I don't know why but everyone I know is having one heck of a time even those who have not suffered the loss of a loved one.  Too much suffering and I don't know why.  

Getting through a minute at a time is all you will do for awhile.  Sorry, wish I had more to offer.  

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Permalink Reply by Crystal on April 3, 2017 at 12:35pm

its all i can do is move forward. day by day. my mom went home yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. my family is in california, im in texas. so well see how this goes. 

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Permalink Reply by Susan K on April 3, 2017 at 3:40pm

When everyone left to go back to their lives is when I really began to feel alone but strangely the quiet also made it easier to grieve...I will be honest I can not cook a meal or wash dishes without a meltdown of some sort but without all the eyes on me I can cry freely...My family means well but I tried to be strong for them so they don't worry since I too am in another state away from all my family but it gets tiring, For them life goes on for us it has seems like it has stalled. I don't know if life would ever seem normal again for me since everything I thought and dreamed of is not going to happen...

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Permalink Reply by Bonnie Gould on April 17, 2017 at 3:22pm

Crystal, I lost my husband of 45 years to brain cancer on March 23rd. I don't know yet how people get through this. I do know that we are the ones left and are still breathing. I'm so very sorry for your loss. There is nothing fair about the horrible beast that is brain cancer. My husband fought very hard to get some portion of his life back after being diagnosed with brain tumors. He fell and was transported to the hospital where the MRI and cat scans told us all the bad news. From the moment he fell until the day he died, he never regained his ability to stand or walk. His vision became almost blindness after the biopsy.

The only thought I have that is helping is that I don't want to throw away any part of what he treasured and worked so hard to get back. He never gave up hoping or trying. When my thoughts start straying to ending this, I try to remember that he would have given anything to experience our daughters' lives, to spend the day with the grandsons, to see the cardinals at the bird feeder, to hear the choir at church sing.

I look for just a moment now and then to find something of beauty - a reason to keep going. I'm hoping and praying that you will have some of those moments in the days ahead. This is tough beyond understanding.

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