Can't handle the Holidays

This will be my 4th Christmas without my husband. I find myself drinking more beer to ease my pain. I have tried counseling and different meds, but they do no help, its seems the beer makes me more relaxed so I can get through each day. Am I the only one in our group to have this problem.

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Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on December 19, 2016 at 10:30am

Hi Alison,

Thanks for your response. For four years, I have seen grief counselors, therapists and meds, get no relief. I have learned to accept that I will not be better until I take my last breath.

Regards, Linda

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on December 19, 2016 at 10:24am

Hi Oleta,

I wish I could just go sleep for the entire Christmas Season, like you, my husband and I had a special relationship most people will never have.

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Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on December 24, 2016 at 7:35am

Linda,

What a beautiful picture.  Absolutely beautiful. Thank you.

I wish I could sleep until after New Year's.  Today is non stop tears and it's not even eight a.m.  I am lucky, I can still hear his voice talking to me.  I decided today that there is no God.  I've been thinking it for some time.  John suffered and he was such a loving special man.  We should have had more years together.  He should not have suffered.  He should not have been taken away from us.  Linda, it gets a bit easier but  not much.  I just want my husband back.  Lets remember our lives as they were.  I have to go to a party tonight and smile.  HOW???  In three days will be the 1st anniversary of my husband's death.

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on December 19, 2016 at 10:54am

In the words of my husband's and my favorite singer...we listened to him almost every night....

"Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers or Jack Daniels".

In the end, nothing really helps us, does it but a nice glass of Jack, two ice cubes.....makes a few hours easier to take.  Jack D.  and I are going to get to know one another on Dec. 27th...the anniv of the loss of my husband.  I'll tell you Linda, my beautiful John would have approved. 

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on December 27, 2016 at 8:44am

Hi Oleta,

Hope you made it through Christmas, I went to my Julian's and mine favorite place for Christmas, in Hallandale, Florida. It was sad and happy. Sad because he was not with me and happy for the beautiful memories, Of course I had plenty of beers to help me through it. As far as New Year's, it just another year without him.

Blessings, Linda

 

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on December 20, 2016 at 6:42am

Hi Carolyn,

Thanks so much for your response

Linda

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on December 29, 2016 at 12:02am

This is my second christmas without my husband.   Yes  it is very hard.   The medications do not work.   I find that camomile tea calms me down.  I also use melatonin at night. My family (mostly my sister-in law-) is open to talking to me often.   Also, I finally have a close friend that is willing to listen.    I don't think that any counselor could help me.   I depend on Jesus, who is willing to listen anytime of day or night.  He provided the people who encourage me.

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