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Permalink Reply by bluebird on October 18, 2016 at 8:43pm

Hi Marie'sGirl.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope having and loving your son brings you some peace. If there is an afterlife, I hope that your mam is able to contact and show herself to you and/or your son; children are often more open to that sort of thing, so maybe he will have a loving visit from here, especially as the are so close.

I understand turning to alcohol and pills and smoking -- I don't do those things myself, but every single night I have to take either Benadryl (allergy pills which also cause sleepiness) or a sleeping pill in order to sleep.  Your colds are likely happening due to your depressed immune system, which is depressed due to stress but also to the drugs/drinking/smoking, so cutting down on those things would probably help keep you from getting so many colds.

People who tell you that you should be "over it" are idiots.  You are the only one who knows your grief, and the only one who is in a position to say anything about it.  You are the only person who is an expert in your particular grief.

I hope you can find some peace.

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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on October 21, 2016 at 7:02am

Marie'sGirl1953,

I am so sorry for your loss. Sadly there is really nothing I can say or do to take your pain away. I REALLY wish there was.

I have found a way forward however. It's summed up with the word HOPE! I am not talking about wishing for something to happen that never will. I am talking about having an absolute certainty that what I hope for in the future WILL HAPPEN.

This hope is that:
I WILL BE REUNITED WITH MY LOVED ONE IN THE FUTURE. WE WILL BE TOGETHER.

This helps me. Even though I miss my loved ones terribly I have a certain future. In time I will be with them, and they will be with me.

My particular hope is that we will all be reunited right here on the earth, but after the earth becomes a paradise.

I do know that the passage of time until then can be brutal, but having a certain HOPE for that gives me something positive to look forward to.

Experts say that one way to battle homesickness for people who had to move away from family is this:

Always keep a goal or a promise of something to look forward to on the table. Perhaps a reunion with those people that the person is missing.

I know that this is not the same thing ... but in principle I find that it helps those of us who have lost our dear loved ones to look forward to our reunion.

I am not sure if I am making any sense. But if there is any way I can help please let me know.

Dennis

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Permalink Reply by Marie'sGirl1953 on October 21, 2016 at 1:33pm

Hi Dennis C, and bluebird. I'm sorry I'm only getting back to your posts now. I hope you are both doing well. What beautiful words Dennis, when I read your post just now, it made me think that yeah I will be with my mam again. I will.
Tomorrow is my sons 5th birthday Oct 22 I can't believe that this is his first ever one without his only amazing Nana. My dad will be there with him though, and I were going to make the day as special and as enjoyable as possible for him. It'll be hard b/c my mam isnt here.... But somehow I'll get through it...

Bluebird, you are so absolutely right about the people telling me to "get over" it. I will do it how I want and choose to, and if that means smoking then so be it.

Thank you both kindly for your beautiful words you have both made me feel happy. Enjoy the rest of your evenin both of you - take care
Kind regards to you both once again,
Lots of love, Marie'sGIrl xxx

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on October 23, 2016 at 12:51pm

I'm glad our words were able to help you a bit.  {{{{{hugs}}}}}

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Permalink Reply by Marie'sGirl1953 on November 21, 2016 at 6:15pm

❤❤❤❤

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