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Permalink Reply by Crystal M on December 5, 2010 at 6:33pm

While I don't know what it feels like to lose my mother, I do know how you feel about the holidays. I have lost many people dear to me, but my niece and my grandfather were the hardest for me. My niece would have turned 5 on December 2 of this year, which is a hard day every year. She brought so much joy to myself and my family and when she died I felt like I lost a part of me. We have spent two holiday seasons without her already. Thanksgiving wasn't as bad this year, but Christmas is the biggest celebration that my family has, so I get really depressed around this time. The first Christmas was the hardest, but I knew that I had to do something to make the best out of it for my daughter and my other niece and nephew. I did holiday crafts with them and we decorated a lot. We also decided that it would be best to include Issy (my niece) in the celebration. We started out by going to her grave and putting flowers and gifts out. Then we all got together and talked about her, the happy memories and the tragedy that we had to go through. It helped, and we are still doing it every Christmas. My grandpa taught me so much about so many things and losing him destroyed me. For a long time I couldn't accept it. We spent Christmas Eve at his house every year and for 22 years that is all I remembered. The first Christmas without him was a disaster. Everything was last minute, but we somehow all managed to get together and spent the night talking about him. I hope that we can continue to keep the family together even the one person holding us together is no longer here. Remember to keep only the people around that will support you and not judge. Also, don't make a big deal about presents, that's not what Christmas is about, it is about family and being with the ones you love. You are not a grinch, you are grieving. The best thing to do is to keep your mother's memory alive and let everyone know that you are still grieving and if they don't like it they don't have to be around. It may help to do some of the things that your mother did for the holidays and your not crazy if you talk to her while your doing it. It may help you get some things off of your mind and remember the great memories of your mother. I hope everything works out and if you need anyone to talk to, I am always here.