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Loss before the loss
My husband has lung disease. He's 39 years old and even his doctors say they have never seen such advanced lung disease in someone so young. We have 2 young kids. My husband's disease is inoperable and getting worse far quicker than we ever thought it could. He's dying. Everyday I am faced with knowing I am going to lose him. In many ways I have already lost him. He's always in pain or high on pain killers. He can't work or do anything around the house. His temper is quick to flair. I'm grateful for everyday I have him but I feel like this is killing me inside every bit as much as its killing him. I don't know how to deal with this loss and he isn't even gone yet.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Susan on
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I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time. You are dealing with your loss now, which means you are getting started on the grieving process. For me it meant a shorter, somewhat easier time grieving after my husband died. I only hope it means that for you, too. I know it's awful and I wish I could take it all away for you. But there is an end point and you will see your husband's suffering come to an end. That will be a relief for him and you can be thankful for him. It will be hard on you, but you will actually be moving forward, too. You'll probably be numb for awhile which will be helpful. Your children will need you and you'll still see their beauty and find joy in their smiles and seeing how precious they are as you interact with them daily. They may be what keeps you going and therefore very crucial to your mental health. You can cry together over your loss when they ask about their Daddy. It's okay to cry. I wish I could help you more.
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