Well, here it is...Nancy left this world April 29th, 2015. I know that's still 27 days away, but it taints the entire month. All the things we did that month that should have been heralds of what was to come. I am seriously depressed at this writing, much more so than usual. If I had the means handy I would not feel the slightest bit of hesitancy in helping myself cross over. But, my dear bride would not have that. She would want me to buckup and carry on so. of course, I will, to honor the memory of the woman who defined my life for so many years. But, still, it is a very bad day for me. I will be glad when it is finished and the sun sets on my sorrow.  I can then spend more time worrying about all the home repairs that are desperately needed but are not finished or even started. The "Death Month" has my full attention and I can only bide my time and take it as easy as possible to get through it. Ativan helps a lot.  May each and every one of you find the peace and calm that we all seek in our lives as we muddle through this horrible journey without end until we are blessed to be reunited with our loved ones for eternity.   Mel

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Love and prayer to you Mel.  Can not imagine how you feel.  I am at my "day 68".  The pain and loneliness crushes me.  I want to go and be with her.  If only that were God's will.

 

Each month that passes, I miss my dear husband more. I feel your pain, and wish you comfort. Are you going to do any kind of ritual? It may help to honour your pain with some token like a hummingbird feeder, or chimes that help you feel more connected between today and yesterday.

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