Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mel Joyce on November 7, 2010 at 1:04am

Hello Kelsey, I know what you mean about the anger thing. I battled with that too. I am a mother of four, all under 8 years old and i spent a whole month dealing with my dad's funeral and taking care of his affairs, then i returned to my state, my home. It all hit me, i was a wreck. I barely could get out of bed, all i wanted to do was sleep, i wasn't taking care of my home, my children, and was just angry or crying. I was just a mess. My husband finally told me i needed to get help, that he and the kids were still living and they needed me. So i did, i saw the doctor, got medication and I also found a support group called Griefshare. Found them at www.griefshare.org. It was important for me to get help because i wasn't functioning, i wasn't sleeping, i was completely oblivious to the world around me. My father passed away, March 4, 2010, and now i am functioning a lot better. It was a combination of having sleeping pills, anti-depressants, support group, and going to church. You have to search out and seek avenues that may help you. It may take a combination of things that help you, you have to figure out what works for you. Keep in mind that no one will know your pain like you do, your relationship with your dad was unique and only you know how it feels and know the void it has left in your life. So the best advice i can give you is seek out avenues of help that i have mentioned. Also understand, that no one can replace your dad, that includes your boyfriend. That is a tall order to fill and a lot to ask of your boyfriend. You will have to work through this alone. Don't be disappointed, you still have to live your life, that is what your dad would have wanted, right? I am sure he was proud of you being in school and working on being a better person. In life we have many ups and downs, but we must go on and keeping living. I call it, 'moving along', we have to keep moving along otherwise there is no point to living. you have to keep the legacy of your dad alive, you have his blood running through your veins and it's up to you guys to share the memories and pass on his legacy. My final advice is stay in school, take it moment by moment, stay on course, you can't give up, again, your dad would not want you to leave school. You are so close to the end, i know how hard it is to finish school, i battled my last year, but now i have my bachelor's and master's degree. You can do it. But get some help, if you need to chat or vent, this is a great place too. I will get through this , you are trying to find your new normal dear and you will. You will function again. My God great you the strength you need. May you feel the comfort and peace you need to know you are on the right course. Keep your head up and I pray that you find the right avenues of support that you need. In Jesus name, AMEN! Also remember, punching someone in the face won't help either. ....I know, I had that type of anger, and just wanted to fight, imagine me, a mother of four wanting to brawl....it's all part of the process of mourning, the anger, just don't let it get the best of you. Your once close friends won't be around, they don't know what to say and don't know how to help you. So don't be angry with them, just accept that they don't or have not felt the pain you have now. Take care, love & God bless you dear - Mel

Permalink Reply by Kelsey Ramirez on November 11, 2010 at 12:15am

Thanks Mel. Its makes me feel so much better knowing that what i'm going through is "normal." i actually tried to go counseling but backed out because I was scared.. when my friends or bf dont get me...i think to myself "you just don't understand"... because they dont and they're not going to.. its just hard when people dont get that this has effected my entire life... who i am, my view on things, my priorities.. etc.. as time passes, things are starting to get easier.. this site really helps. thanks so much for replying. :]

Permalink Reply by Katrina Miller on November 10, 2010 at 8:58am

Kelsey
My name is Katrina Miller and I lost my dad a year ago suddenly when he was picking apples he had a massive heart attack and I was not with him no one was. I have anger and I wanted someone to fill that void as well. I know what you are going throught. I am 23 years old. If you want to talk let me know
katrina

Permalink Reply by Kelsey Ramirez on November 11, 2010 at 12:21am

- Katrina

I'm glad I now have someone I can talk to that is in a similar situation. How is it a year later? (dealing with it all) I'm scared that these extremes won't go away... I snap at a lot of people... idk y im so bitter at other people wen i kno im just mad at life itself... if im sad about anything it relates back to my dad and turns into a huge ordeal.. and i cry for hours... how are you doing about coping, and how did you get there?

kelsey

Permalink Reply by Katrina Miller on November 11, 2010 at 9:26am

Kelsey
I know that while after I tried to put it on the back buner and take care of everyone then It got to me where I could not do my job as a personal wellness coach. I love helping people lose weight and change there lifes. I know that I was mad at people. i am now doing griving counsling which took me about 9 months to finally say that is what I needed. Now it has been amazing and I would not trade that for anything.