I can only speak for me but Yep I sure do feel that way more than I'd ever want to. drugs are not the answer for this kind of pain. I yell and scream and cry when no one else is around and that to me is better than stuffing the pain with drugs. We have to remember that because this horrible tradgic thing has happened to us I believe that I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life and the idea of being on drugs forever isnt a good thing. I use different coping skills I have learned over the years such as music soft sounds, good movies, incense, diversion, distraction, Yelling and screaming and crying by myself etc. Sometimes one or the other will work and sometimes I have to use them all and sometimes nothing works at all except time. Somedays you move 2 steps forward and somedays you fall 2 steps back. I try to cherish the good days so when the rough ones hit I have atleast one or two things that I can remember to remind me that the bad days wont last forever. It seems if I dont let the anger and frustration and sadness out I get phiscally sick. The worst for me is others judging calling me crazy and putting me down. I think what we all want is plain old understanding. But I guess if you haven't been through this you wouldn't have a clue. Im sure we would all like to be clueless about this stuff. Befor I lst my children I was so innocent and naieve about taking one step at a time, one day at a time but now i'm getting really good at it because I really dont have many options so I have to do the best I can. My mom lost my sister 54 years ago and she stills to this day has times when she gets angry and sad. So I guess it never really goes away you just learn how to deal. I dont know if this helps but it's all I know. You can write to me anytime. If anything I can listen.