Riddled with guilt

The second week of May my daughters great grandmother on her dads side passed we traveled to New Jersey for the funeral we stayed with my mom that week came home on a Wednesday was back to work Thursday night my mother texted me on Friday but I was so exhausted I didn't answer I work night work so I continued my week of night work half way through I stopped and realized I hadn't heard from my mom since Friday but I was enjoying the break from all of her random long texts then that following Friday from the last time I heard from her I got the worst call ever my uncle went to check on her and found her she had passed sometime that Saturday and had been in there alone and forgotten by me all that time of I just answered maybe things would have been different now I'd give anything for one of those annoying texts and as if all of this wasn't hard enough and unexpected I also had the tAsk of cleaning her apartment and taking out the chair that she had died in all of this haunts me some people have passing smells of someone's perfume After someone dies I have passing smells of death almost like a breeze passing I would greatly appreciate anyone's input or advice on my situation

Tags: Death, mother, traumatic, unexpected

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Permalink Reply by Michael Thompson on July 4, 2015 at 5:55am

Hi, what happened to you, could happen to anybody.  Think on this, if you didnt feel any kind of guilt for not answering your mums texts and saying Hi, little knowing the outcome, this would make you absolutely heartless.

The fact that you feel this guilt is natural, it proves you care, it proves you have a good heart.  This is easy to say, but hard to do, but try not to think about this guilt to much.

I was not at my wife's hospital bedside when she passed in 2014 of Cancer, we were married 22 years. When she started her 11 month battle with Cancer, on a question from me, she insisted I stay in our flat and look after our little Yorkie if something happened to her.  She did not want our little Yorkie left by herself, so this is what I did, and I feel a little guilty myself, but I would have felt really guilty had I gone against my wife's wishes, and against my word to my wife.  My wife had Yorkies all her life, they were like little people to her.  I saddens me deeply that my wife is no longer around to watch our little Yorkie grow up, she is 3 in December, and very affectionate.

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