Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by charity wolf on June 15, 2015 at 11:03pm

Hi Anthony..

I am so sorry for your loss. I think that being gentle with yourself is so important. Grief knocks the wind out of us and we need to be able to feel all the emotions that arise. Give yourself time and space to feel, that is where the healing happens. I lost my Mama too, five months ago. I have never been in so much pain in my life. I am learning that grief is a powerful wave and it changes us, it cracks open our hearts. In time, in healing, we become butterflies, strong beautiful butterflies.  But we don't get through this unchanged. So, please love yourself up right now. You are nursing a broken heart....

Permalink Reply by Pattie Meier on June 16, 2015 at 8:16am

Anthony, My mother has been gone for 16 months.  I still find myself tearing up. Occasionally I can share a memory without tears.  I tear up at others stories about their moms.  A friend once told me that it doesn't get better but it does get easier, i believe that.  Smiles for you and for our moms :)

Permalink Reply by jill smith on June 16, 2015 at 8:36am

Hi Anthony,

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. I agree with Charity..be gentle with yourself. Grief is a process and it takes time. For me it was good to cry. Your life has been turned upside down...you have new huge responsibilities with your brothers plus you are still grieving. That is a mighty full plate. My mom passed away 10/14 and I still tear up every day. Just recently can I talk about her without completely losing it. What helped me a lot in the beginning was to take it day by day even hour by hour. Everything you are going through is very normal. I was very anxious and had no appetite for months after my mom passed. I just want to curl up into a ball but I forced myself to take care of myself by eating, getting enough sleep and exercising. Coping with my grief has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and I knew if I took care of myself it would help me cope better. You will always grieve/miss your mom, but you will eventually get used to your "new normal." This first year is rough. You have to experience everything for the first time without your mom. 

Permalink Reply by Anthony Mann on June 16, 2015 at 4:31pm

Thank you guys for responding and sharing your kind words. The whole process sucks itself...

Permalink Reply by Leila on June 17, 2015 at 12:20am

Anthony,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother and all you are going through. I lost my own sweet mom to cancer on April 18. I still cry every day. Everyone tells me this is normal. I've talked to people who lost their mothers years ago. They all say they still miss their mother every day, but they are now able to think of all the good times they had together and smile. They are no longer filled with this heart wrenching pain every day. I hope it's true, for all of our sakes. I've never been one to cry, and now I'm always on the verge of tears. They often come at the least expected times, sometimes in public places.
My prayers are with you and your family.

Nancy

Permalink Reply by fashionlover on June 25, 2015 at 2:22pm

 Anthony, 

I so feel your pain. My mom died May 17th 2015 of a terminal illness as well. I know that emptiness that you are feeling. Gosh, the wound is so fresh. There are moments lately where it leaves me without breath. Like I literally cannot breath it hurts so bad. From what I am learning of speaking to other people that are going through or have gone through this, you have to let your emotions come when they do. In other words if you have to cry, if you have to scream, whatever you are feeling in that moment you have to embrace it and let it out. That is the only way we can truly heal. Man, I wish I had answers. I wish I could know that everything will be ok and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The only thing that helps me right now is knowing I am not the only one going through this.