Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Danny on July 19, 2014 at 5:24pm

Sibling relationships are very complex and at times like this, they stay the same or often go downhill except for some instances and there are many of those too but for the most part...

Permalink Reply by Carrie Sue on February 6, 2015 at 10:50pm

Bonnie, my dear, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. I too had a sister who lived 2000 miles from home. During portions of my parents illnesses, and death she moved in with them. We cared for them together. It was exceptionally hard when she came back but I thank God she got to be with them. We had several tense times making decisions that we felt differently about. I resented that she could leave and let the post death affairs on me. As I was cleaning out the house, she called...she asked why I was crying. I yelled our parents are dead and this is killing me. I felt she escaped all the hard stuff. Two years ago, I got the phone call that she had been murdered. I am broken to my soul. Despite our differences, I'd give anything in this world to still have her. Everything that we disagreed on is so insignificant now. I tried and tried to get her to come home, yo no avail. She and I both grieved our losses, in different ways, as you and your sister seem to be. She was my big sister too. Big sisters are supposed to be there for us, huh? Please, oh please, forgive your sister. Try to talk to her about the hurt you felt. Did she know how you felt? She may not have understood as she was so far away. When she moves, she will be hit with the loss much differently than while she was away. She will find out how hard it is to go to the grocery store and stop dead in her tracks with a memory...she will run into people who remind her of her loss when they ask how she is doing. All those things she hasn't dealt with yet. You two will now be able to share your grief and help each other. Love your sister while you can. You never know when you might not be able to pick up the phone to call her, or bitch at her, or hug her again.

Permalink Reply by Danny on February 7, 2015 at 2:35am

As I said earlier , best to grieve in your own way and use this forum regularly. Siblings can help but it should only be one of pillars as they are not the people who will help you day to day as they have vested interests and different agendas. Plus you cannot really build anything with them going into the future and a spouse may be a solid pillar more so than siblings.