Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Roger on January 5, 2015 at 7:02am

PK, I am so sorry for your loss. I have no idea what it is like to lose a child. But I do know about grief. What It can do. At 56 my body some times feels like It's 100. It takes all my strength for even smallest chores. I am so forgetful. Forgetting to do all kinds of things. Some little something I might see. Reminding me of my wife. Will send me on a crying jag. So feeling weird is to be expected. Grief is hard. You can't reach out and touch it. But it's there. Like a heavy back pack full of bricks. Weighting you down. You carry it with you even while you are trying to sleep, cook, clean. Buying things at the market. Every where.  In time, our back pack will lighten. A brick will fall out. Then another and so on. We just have to go on. Putting one foot in front of the other. until that day. When ever it is. A therapist will help. I see a wonderful man. They will help get you. I would like to suggest walking. Just do what you can. If the weather permits where you live. Exerting has a lot of benefits. I will keep you in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by PK on January 5, 2015 at 10:44pm

Thank You so much. I am seeing a grief therapist tomorrow. You are a lovely person.Thank you for the kindness 

Permalink Reply by jill Gershon on January 5, 2015 at 9:31am

PK, I lost my son, age 34, a year ago on Nov. 22.  Not a second goes by that it's not with me.  There's not much you can do with the grief, especially this early on.  Like any grief, it is so acute in the beginning, and like any catastrophic event in one's life, you kind of have to go with it -- through the stages.  I no longer cry constantly about it and can talk about it sometimes without breaking down.  I know I need to get some therapy, but I'm not yet ready for it.  Keep us posted.  Somehow we live through this, but it changes who we are.

 

Permalink Reply by Marie on January 5, 2015 at 8:49pm

Hi PK,

I am so sorry for you. Tomorrow is the four month mark of losing my son, he was 22. I looked at her pictures that you posted on heaven's address--she is beautiful.

As I write this to you, I still can't believe I am on this site. I get the feeling weird...I am having one of those days too. This last month, I noticed I don't cry as much--I still cry everyday--but just not so constantly. I find myself trying to block out the fact that he is gone because I feel like letting it in will crush and kill me. It takes so much energy to protect my heart and so much energy to let myself cry. It is just so so unbelievable. I still can't believe this has happened to me, and then I remember how many of us this has happened to! I can't believe any of us lost children. Although I am learning to not cry as much, it seems that the pain has become more intense. I feel weighted down. It is a constant rollercoaster of painful emotions everyday. It has become frightening.

I found this site to be my way to sanity. Although I don't always post, I read what others post and I keep everyone in my thoughts. Knowing that we are all in this together and thinking of each other helps me gather a little strength each day.

Many hugs to you.