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Permalink Reply by Christian on May 30, 2010 at 9:31pm

Hi Kim -

My mom passed away suddenly on April 21, so my grief is still very fresh. I felt very lost and still sometimes do. I would recommend buying a couple of books on greif and reading them. I found "On Grief and Grieving" by Elizabeth Kubler Ross especially helpful. It's easy in the face of what we have lost to think you're going insane or that you can't go on. Reading a couple of books on grief and grieving will let you know what to expect and also have suggestions on things you can do to express your feelings.

My mother was a very strong-willed, driven woman and, while I let myself cry and express all that I'm feeilng, I went back to work, I'm seeing friends and family, and maintaining my hobbies because I know that's what she would have wanted.

For the first three weeks, I cried at least once a day, usually at night. I kept my partner and best friend close by, and I talked to my mom's best friend (my Godmother) at least once a day. I think this was very important in terms of my being able to process what I was feeling and how sad I was and still am. I have also found that knowing people who lost their mom at my age or younger (I'm 36), has been helpful in knowing that life will go on. If you have friends who have lost a parent, I think you should lean on them and ask them what they did.

Another thing is that you have to let youself feel what you feel. When my mom died, I promised her that I wouldn't be afraid of my feelings and I have, for the most part, gone toward my grief and not away from it. But, it's, for me, a work in progress as it is for you. If you want to talk or email, please feel free to reach out to me.

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Permalink Reply by coachlouise on June 16, 2010 at 10:53pm

Dear Kim, It is only natural for you to be lost. As this is a huge hole in your heart and much to process. What ever creative expression you like ... use, get in touch with your feelings, this is the time for grief. It is also a highlighted time for seeing, hearing, or feeling signs from your mom. Pay attention and please write them down. My heart goes out to you, With hugs, Coach Louise www.americasgriecoach.com

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