Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Harvel on May 15, 2010 at 6:57pm

Paige,
Happy to hear from someone. I understand the piling on and on and on. i've discovered in the last 6 months (thru all my losses) that we have to keep moving and doing what we do. People still rely on you, even when you don't know it. Sometimes its even as incidental as the cashier where you shop-- they look for you, or simply notice they haven't seen you. I discovered that when the woman who took the picture of my siblings and me for mom's Christmas asked about mom. She knew we were presenting the photo to mom in the hospital. keep pressing

Permalink Reply by Paige Anne Lovelace on May 17, 2010 at 9:22am

I keep on going on because mom and dad would never have wanted me to give up on my life. I sometimes think the only way I have been hanging on is because I don't want to insult the memory of my mom and dad. For along time there were some people who never knew my mom died and they would come up to me and talk about like she was still alive and at first it upset me to tears but as the time wore on I could handle that better and I come to really feel a peace about it. I am pressing on and I will continue to do so because I will do nothing less for the memory of my mom and dad.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Harvel on May 17, 2010 at 5:49pm

Paige,
I feel the same way-- regarding insulting mom's memory or that of the others who fought so long to live. My drawback is the fact that I feel mom had given up by not doing her exercises and got weaker and weaker.. was it due to giving up or just that she couldn't?In the end it was a massive heart attack that took her suddenly. I was the only caregiver she had for 2.75 years even tho my sister lives with me and our brother works from home but out of town. Then he came in for 3 months and mom insisted that i enjoy my time with my boyfriend... and now i feel like had i spent time with mom could i have changed the outcome? Or did she know she was dying and sent me to "not watch" her like that? SO many things to speculate on but i've caught myself snapping at boyfriend (yep he's still around thru my down time) and wondering if I"m subconsciously blaming him. Mom was a people pleaser so even 11 years after being laid off co-workers still came to funeral :) so the peace you feel in hearing about your parents is something for me to look forward to :) Thanks - jen