Please, please read this, I need help so bad...

My heart hurts... It hurts so bad... I can't stop it, no matter what I do, it just hurts... I can't even explain it in words, it's so painful... 

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want someone to hold me, I want someone to listen... I want him back. I want to hear his raspy voice and his lisp. I want to see his tender, brown green eyes. I want to see his sweet, toothy smile and I want to hear him say my name, the special way he always did. I want to hug him and tell him how much I love him. 

I was there when he died. I tried to close his eyes but his eyelids wouldn't close all the way. They were out of focus... Dead... I couldn't look at them that way. Not his. I tried to close them but they wouldn't. I got blood on my hoodie but I don't even remember seeing blood. I just remember his eyes. Everyone was screaming. I couldn't let go.

He's my twin. We were 12 then. I'm 17 now. And I still hold my breath so I dont feel it as bad, even if just for a moment. I still feel like I could weep into oblivion, I still feel like if I start crying I might never stop. I can't even say his name anymore and I feel horrible for that but I just can't. I don't know what to do, I'm so lost.

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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on September 6, 2013 at 6:44am
Mel

I would encourage you to follow this link and read the brochure.

It is a different point of view about death. Why we die, what happens when we die, and the future for those that have died. And of course the promise that we can see our loved ones again in the future.

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1101994007

If you have any questions please let me know. And know that I just hope to offer any comfort to you that I can

Dennis
Permalink Reply by Cyn Rios on August 30, 2013 at 9:42pm
I liked the video, the music is very cool. I have a beardy too, she's kind of mean. I'm so sorry for your loss, he was very handsome and it sucks what happened. I can't accept my brotherbis gone and I am so sad and depressed too..there arent many words to say except you are not alone..i have not felt my brothers presence i guess im not ready but i hope it brings me comfort and i pray the same for you. sending you blessings Cynthia
Permalink Reply by Cyn Rios on September 11, 2013 at 1:12pm
Hi Mel are you ok today? Everyday is up and down know im thinking of you, Cyn Rios

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