Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Ballard on April 21, 2010 at 8:27pm

My husband had some very strong feelings about other praying for him. He always said that he didn't like it when others prayed for him because he believed that since many of the people praying for him really didn't know him, they might be praying for the wrong thing. That may sound strange but it kind of made sense to me after we talked about it. For example, he said, "I might really want people to pray for this pain to ease up but they (other people) might be praying for me to get well, which is not going to happen, so are they wasting those prayers?" He believed that it was near his time and like you said , that "God has His own reasons" for it but that having his pain eased might be a prayer that could be answered.

I didn't explain that very well but maybe you get the drift of what he was saying.

Permalink Reply by Lilly pizer on April 21, 2010 at 9:18pm

Suzanne,
I have had 11 years to contemplate that question, and the best I can come up with is... If you believe that God is all powerful and all knowing, then if our loved ones are not healed through prayer ... the answer is no. AS hard as that is to say... it really Hurts too. Eventhough we don't understand why. He knows why He allows some things to happen. I do believe that God hears our prayers, I believe that God can do anything, He has the power to heal, you hear it all the time "they took an x -ray and the cancer was gone". It happens to some people. Just not our husbands, and we don't know why. He has a master plan... fortunately(or unfortunately)...we don't know what the plan is. I don't know why my husband died, he had just become a christian 2 years prior, I was 4 months pregnant when he was diagnosed, we were young professionals starting our life together, It didn't make any sense to me. I remember thinking, He would have been able to share his testimony with so many people, it doesn't make sense to take him now. It's not possible to know the mind of God. Someone once told me when we look at our lives it looks like the underside of a needle point, but from Gods perspective, he sees the big picture and sees a master piece. We don't know what or how our life or our struggles affect other people or what role our struggle plays in this life. I do believe that God hears our prayers, I think we should pray and try to understand that in whatever happens let His will be done. that's hard to write because I want to say to God I know what I need, give me what I want and what I need... It's ok for your will to be done if I get what I want, but don't take away my husband! When we pray, we still have hope, and i think that is really important, besides we don't know what the answer will be. . . It really hurts though, for me I prayed, I trusted, I believed I had a lot of faith that He would get better and felt that God was leading us to certain doctors, etc. IN the end, the doctors had given up and he ended up taking his life, that was hard for me to accept that God also gives us us free will. Why??? Only He knows.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Ballard on April 21, 2010 at 10:01pm

Lilly, I love that reference to the underside of a needle point. That is a powerful image.

Permalink Reply by Lilly pizer on April 22, 2010 at 6:42am

Suzanne you know our last conversation about how can the world move on when something really terrible has happened.... I was watching a t.v. show last night about a 15 year old boy who struggled with bipolar disorder and committed suicide. His mother was sharing her thoughts and she sounded just like us, How can the world move on, how can people get up and go to work when my world has stopped, you look out the front door and birds are flying around, squirrels picking up nuts, people driving to work, the sun rises and sets eventhough our husbands/children are not here. Why is that so amazing to us? why is it unbelievable? I know I'm getting really deep here, but to be honest with you until I joined this group I thought I was the only one that thought that way. How angry I was, I wanted to get up and walk over to people and yell at them and say, stop laughing, don't you know what has happened? Of course logically I knew they didn't know me or my husband and didn't know what we had been through, what wonderful life was lost, But I still, I was bewildered and confused. Ive never had any formal grief services so maybe that is just part of the grief process, I don't know.

Permalink Reply by Kirstine Rushing on April 22, 2010 at 6:19pm

Yep, I am in the same boat. I prayed so much for my mom to be healed and I felt she really deserved to be healed b/c she was such a strong Christian that was wanting to start a Christian ministry to help women. In my eyes, she was the perfect person for God to heal b/c he needed her here to spread his message of love, faith and hope and by healing her others would see that with prayer anything is possible, but sadly she lost her battle to cancer on Jan 22 of this year. I too am sad right now, I don't understand why my mom had to die at 55 years old of lung cancer when she never smoked a day in her life and was always so healthy. It just doesn't make sense to me, but I've just learned to accept that sometimes no matter how unfair and not right things turn out...we can't see from God's perspective and how he does things to bring a better end for all involved. I am not saying I can see any good from this whatsoever, but I guess he is God and has his reasons and in time I just have to trust in that fact that he is always doing the best for those that love him as it says in the bible. As for praying for others to be healed, my vote is YES!!! If I can spare someone else the heart ache and agony I've been through that would be awesome! I'd like for someone else to get that happy ending so they don't have to feel this pain I do every minute of every day.