I lost my best friend to a 2 year long battle with colo-rectal cancer. I've been so mad and sad at the same time. In the midst of it all my Mamma(grandmother) got sick and has been in and out of the hospital and nursing home. I've been with her everyday. She is my sunshine and I love her so much. Sunday she said no more. We took her home and are all sitting vigil till she goes to see Poppa. My heart aches and it will never heal. I thought that knowing and having time to say goodbye ahead of time would be better. But watching her body go these past three months and now her mind is not easy. And I'm not ready.

 Can't really dump all this on anyone. Just need to get some of it out there.