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Permalink Reply by Joe Andersen on January 1, 2013 at 4:36am

The date of my loss was September 3rd 2012 at 8:03 AM.  I wish I had a story to tell about how I am healing and or recovering but I haven't found a way yet.  Hard to explain but due to nessesity I had to dive into workoholic mode pretty much the day after my father died.  Until Thanksgiving I was working 12 or more hours a day, seven days a week. After his funeral, I went to work and put in 10 hours.   Thanksgiving was the first day I didn't do any type of work whatsoever.  I'm pretty embarressed to say that alcohol and drugs have been helping me.  I have talked to a grief councelor and she gave me several books to read.  I think I'm ready to call her and schedule another appointnment. 

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Permalink Reply by DH on January 11, 2013 at 6:21pm

Hello Joe. I am really moved by the love you have for your father. If more people would share and listen to stories like yours it just might resolve a lot of relationship issues with our loved ones before they're gone. We never know the time or day of our last goodbye. I never knew my son was going to pass on. If I knew... If he knew... We could have said goodbye and shared our love on our own terms. With so much left unsaid we end up carrying all the love we wish we had time to share before their untimely passing. So thank you. Expressing love is where we all start to heal. Let me know how things are going with the grief counselor.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 1, 2013 at 3:55pm

i hated 2012 my movie rocket man

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Skorski on January 8, 2013 at 10:28pm

My husband passed away December 10, 2012.  I am still trying to figure out how I am supposed to carry on our plans and my life without him.  We were only married 2 1/2 years, but were together for 12 1/2.  I think about him every moment I am not busy and miss him terribly.  I started counseling tonight...we will see how that works.  How did everyone handle people saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year"?  

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Permalink Reply by DH on January 10, 2013 at 5:23pm

Hi Cheryl. So sorry about your loss. I had a harder time with New Year than Christmas. A lot more people were saying happy new year to me... all I could say is thank you but its not going to be a happy new year for me. I hope counseling helps you. My counselor is wonderful. I also read a lot of books on grieving. I have a good one called "Good Grief: Healing Through the Shadow of Loss", by Deborah Morris Coryell. Its always nice to know someone completely understands how I feel, what has happened to my life. Keep in touch Cheryl.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Skorski on January 11, 2013 at 11:48am

Hi DH.  It is nice to talk to someone who actually understands the grief.  Although people mean well when they say they can imagine what we are going through, they really cannot.  I have read a lot of articles on-line and I have one book I have read called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love".  I have been going through everything I have read about.  I have not, however, been able to get back into life because the stress of the past few months have physically taken its toll on me.  I am recovering, but it is keeping me down for now.

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Permalink Reply by DH on January 11, 2013 at 5:03pm

I know what you mean. I bumped in to a friend today. I met him 8 years ago when his wife died. He said its 8 years later and he still finds himself crying from time to time. He told me to take it easy on myself and don't worry about crying in the mall. There were times when tears would just well up in his eyes out of no where. He also assured me it gets better but its still just days out for me so I shouldn't expect much. Its nice to know recovery is indeed in our future and it will happen on its own time. So, lets hang in here together Cheryl.

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