Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by michael sandoval on November 17, 2012 at 11:21am

Dear LMN,

My deepest condolences.  I lost my wife three years ago to colon cancer and 6 weeks ago I lost my amazing Mom.  This web site has been great in helping with my losses.  I have been here for three years and it feels like home.

God Bless,

Mike

Permalink Reply by lynda whitton on November 17, 2012 at 11:36am

LMN,

im so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my aunt nearly 3yrs ago to cancer, less than 2wks after it was diagnosed & have just lost my uncle to cancer nearly wks ago to cancer. I know your pain, im still feeling uncontrolable crying now, but it does ease with time.

 

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on November 17, 2012 at 3:34pm

so sory to hear abot yore sister iv lost a lot of family to the evil c desies all difrent types cuzen andrea got the worse 1 brain canser she woz only 36 ys old her litel girl woz only 7 at the time shes 9 now cuzen steveo got pancrated canser wen he went yellow we saed he looket like thes simpsons not nowing it woz pancrated c anti ann breast c anti edi kidny c anti mary lung c i still keap on saying ther shud be a cur thes days all the morden stuf thy hav to day  but so sory abot yore sister

Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on November 19, 2012 at 6:24am

Dear LMN,

     So sorry to hear about your sister - we just lost my husband's brother to pancreatic cancer on Sept 5th. He was diagnosed on August 9th - less than one month. If your difficulty is that your words and feelings are being made public on this website, go to www.grief-and-comfort.com. That site is completely private and nothing you say will be posted publicly. The key though is that you talk to someone that cares.

     Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope.

     This group is very supportive and sympathetic so you can feel safe to talk here. I believe that the greatest comfort comes from the promises set forth in the Bible. How do you feel? Just know that I care and hope to be one of your friends.

Sincerely,

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

Permalink Reply by Mary M. on December 15, 2012 at 3:35am

My sympathy on the loss of your sister.  Losing a loved one is very hard to accept, more so I think when you have watched them suffer through treatment that was supposed to help but didn't.  I lost my husband in March 2012 and the friends I made on this site helped me through the darkest days with their support and empathy.   Attending a grief support group or talking to somebody you trust about how you are feeling can help too. 

I know its hard to reach out to others when you are hurting so bad, but I do know that as you go through the stages of grief you need to talk to others, even if its only one person you feel comfortable talking with.  Know that we have all travelled the same road of grief, pain and sorrow.  Each journey is unique just as we are all unique; but you are not alone.

Blessings,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on January 25, 2013 at 7:03am

Dear LMN

What a terrible loss. What a terrible experience. You are absolutely correct. It is like being cast into an Abyss of dense darkness with no light, or no hope, or relief.

I cared for my Father in law when he was terminally ill. I love him very much. I miss him so very much. He took his last breath in my arms.

I certainly would never want to see him suffer without end, but on the other hand I miss so very much taking care of him and being with him. The whole thing is a lose lose situation.

The Bible tells us that death is an enemy!!! I believe that. It accomplishes nothing good.

But we can gain comfort. (This will NOT take our pain away) Comfort can be based on many things. HOPE is something that can comfort us. HELP (from caring individuals (GOD and JESUS included)) can comfort us. And TRUTH (about the future, the hopes, and condition of our loved one even now) can certainly comfort us.

CL LEWIS once said
“ If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair

I have found this very true.

I am glad that you posted here. It is a good place to get things out in some anonymity. You can also find some healthy resources such as this link. (Only if you choose)

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1101994007

It is an online brochure about "When Some We Love Dies"

I sincerely hope that you can find comfort. I personally will mention you in my prayers, and if I can help in any way please let me know.

DC